


The Paladin

by Tcharlatan



Series: Prophet [2]
Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Yakuza, Anal Sex, Angst, Disfigurement, Early Work, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Torture, Implied or Off-stage Rape/Non-con, Kidnapping, M/M, Macabre Trophies, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Pool Sex, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-03
Updated: 2012-12-03
Packaged: 2017-11-20 04:05:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 26,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/581124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tcharlatan/pseuds/Tcharlatan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Sequel to The Prophet] The Head of the Niikura family has gone missing, and his Second in Command is left lost without him. A little help from an unlikely friend may be all that keeps Die sane while he struggles to keep the organization together.</p><p>(AU - no prior familiarity with characters necessary)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of pure fiction. I do not personally know any of the members of Dir en Grey, and do not profit from this work.

**June 5 th \- 6:30 pm**

Warm summer rain came down in thick, torrential curtains, sparkling when it passed through the clean white beams of streetlight that cut through the night. Carried along by streams of water, tendrils of vibrant red spread rapidly away from a long figure laying facedown in a vacant lot; a brilliant spider lily painted in blood spreading beneath the still body. Locks of hair in an equally bold shade of crimson clung lovingly to angular cheeks, twisting coyly away from a deep gash marring the sun-kissed, golden skin of the man’s forehead. Spent bullet casings littered the ground, and a well-loved pistol lay near the man’s right hand.

“Ka… o… ru?”

Daisuke Andou – Head of Security to the Niikura family for the past decade and lifelong friend and bodyguard to its leader, Kaoru Niikura – stirred slowly, large hands flexing and digging fingers into unforgiving cement as soft brown eyes fluttered dizzily.

How had he come to be on the ground? He remembered… a meeting, clandestine and demanding Kaoru’s personal attention, despite Die’s apprehension. A dozen men – more? – swarming them from darkened corners, falling to Die’s deftly aimed bullets and, when they closed in around him, a skillfully wielded knife. A line of burning pain across his chest as one of the assailants got in a lucky slash. The sickening gush of blood over his hand as another fell to his blade. Stark confusion as the man died with a heartfelt thank-you on his lips and overwhelming relief in his eyes. In the brief window of hesitation that confusion provided, a heavy length of metal had come crashing down against his skull, knocking him to the pavement.

Now, everything was deathly quiet and still. Black leather boots creaked softly as another, larger figure stalked over to Die’s prone form, crouching next to him.

“Kao… ru… where…?”

A large hand fisted itself into red hair and pulled back harshly, a familiar rough voice hissing into his ear, “Niikura’s blood will be on _your_ hands, Andou, you hear me? Yours and Nishimura’s.”

Die tensed – “You?” – before his head was slammed mercilessly into the concrete. Lights exploded behind his eyes, static ringing in his ears, and everything went black.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**June 5 th \- 9:00 pm**

_Anyone else would have slept through the sound; it was so soft, so unobtrusive. Just a faint whisper of sound trickling through thin walls and still, muggy air. But it was enough to wake Die, and he listened for a moment before another quiet whimper found him sliding out of his bed, bare feet touching silently to the plush flooring. He moved as always with ghostly grace – no floorboards creaking, no shuffle of feet over carpet – out of his room and across the spacious living area of the master suite. Coming to a stop beside another room, he opened this door with a careful hand, peering inside._

_Kaoru lay on his back, arms and legs spread out beneath thin covers that fell just short of a lean, bare chest. Beside him, his lover of three years – former enemy and captive of the family, Kyo Nishimura – lay on his side, curled into a miserable ball and trembling as those soft whimpers continued to issue from his throat, his face a twisted mask of pain and fear. Die watched as the familiar pattern of nightmare began to set in._

_“Nn… No! …Please…” the blonde’s low voice gasped, long-fingered hands grasping and pulling at thin sheets._

_“Mnh?” One of Kaoru’s dark eyes opened into a narrow slit and he rolled over languidly, long arms sliding around his lover’s waist, arched nose nuzzling against one pierced ear. “Shh, love… it’s okay… shh, I’m here.”_

“We need to wake him up.”

_Kyo gasped and jerked at the contact, eyes snapping open and rolling wildly. Realizing where he was, and who was touching him, he rolled over to press his face against Kaoru’s chest. The tremors that wracked hunched shoulders slowed gradually as the older man placed gentle, loving kisses over a sweat-slicked forehead, the rounded tip of a small nose, and finally on full lips. The blonde head tipped back after a moment, and Die could hear the kisses being returned, being deepened._

_Usually after Kaoru halted the nightmares and settled his lover back down, the two went back to sleep wrapped in eachother’s arms, but sometimes, as with tonight…_

_Die bit his lip as his straining ears picked up on the faint moans his best friend was making, and the quiet mewls coming from the younger blonde. They were both stunning creatures in their own ways, but he wasn’t necessarily attracted to either man. Kaoru was his boss, his best friend, his life, and though he loved the man deeply, he could never think of him as anything other than a brother. As for Kyo… even if he weren’t irrevocably bound to Kaoru, the intensity of his personality was staggering even just as a friend. But to watch them together – to see two beautiful forms locked in not only lust but in overwhelming love and devotion – made Die’s pulse race even as his heart constricted painfully._

“I’m trying! He keeps drifting back out.”

_Kyo’s lithe body shifted and rose beneath the covers to straddle Kaoru’s hips, bent low to maintain the increasingly fervent kiss that locked them together. A rising cadence of panting and groaning filled the room as the blonde took up an unmistakable movement grinding against his older lover. Outside, a hand tattooed with a sweeping scale pattern slid down to clutch furtively, guiltily at a rapidly hardening erection._

_When their mouths broke apart, thin fingers dripping with tattoos came up to press between full lips. Kyo took the digits into his mouth eagerly, staring down into Kaoru’s eyes with a needy gaze as he licked and sucked with lusty little noises that drove the older man crazy._

_“Gods, you’re beautiful…“ Kaoru’s voice was a husky murmur._

“Come on, wake up. You need to wake up.”

_Die watched with dark, envious eyes as Kaoru’s hand disappeared again under the covers and Kyo’s back arched deliciously. The blonde’s moans reached a fevered pitch and he dug his fingers into Kaoru’s shoulders impatiently, rocking back against invading fingers. When finally they joined together, it was too much, and lonely tears stung Die’s eyes as he silently climaxed into his own hand and boxers. But still he watched as their bodies moved together; hands stroking and grasping, mouths panting and kissing, eyes bright with love when they weren’t rolled back with pleasure._

Dark eyes rolled behind half-parted lashes, a soft grunt escaping elegantly curved lips as Die slowly came back to himself. He was distinctly aware of his upper half having been stripped bare, and the cold steel surface against his back was not his only clue. The horrible sting-and-slide along the gash on his chest was all too familiar, and if he ever had to get a wound stitched again in his life, it would be too soon. Backlit by glaring florescent lights, the indistinct features of the person with the needle were framed by long, auburn hair above him. Thankfully, he was still wearing his customary black sunglasses, and the lights were not as painful as they would have been. What he could make out of the shadowed face was vaguely feminine and not at all familiar enough for him to be okay with the close proximity. His eyes narrowed dangerously and he began to tense, ready to strike out.

“Die, don’t.” A voice he recognized came from his left side, calling his attention to another backlit face, this one framed by a shock of feathery blond spikes. “It’s okay, you’re safe. You’re at home.”

“Kg… Kyo?” the redhead gurgled, confused. “What… where…?”

“Please try to hold still, Daisuke,” The figure on his right scolded gently. “I’m almost done here.”

“You’re not… you’re… Terachi?” Die slurred through a heavy tongue.

He felt like he was trying to think through a heavy fog. The last thing he remembered was leaving the Niikura headquarters with Kaoru to meet someone, and then… nothing. A splitting headache, the gaping wound on his chest, and the faint tingle in his hand that indicated he’d recently fired his gun were concerning signs of a fight he didn‘t recall. He had no idea how he’d come to be wherever he was – it looked like a conference room? – or why the Head of the Terachi family was there with him, giving him medical care.

A faint smile crossed full lips. “Yes.”

“Why are you… stitching…?”

“Because you are wounded. I apologize that the need for discretion in this situation prevents us from getting you proper medical treatment.”

“Oh.” That made sense. Wait… no… no, that didn’t answer his actual question at all. He looked to Kyo instead. “Why is he-… hey, what… are you… crying?”

The blonde’s eyes were bloodshot, his face blotchy and taut with worry. Die found himself reaching out a curious hand to catch a warm tear halfway down a soft, round cheek. Kyo – stubborn, proud, passionate Kyo who slid effortlessly between profound introspection and wicked, brazen debauchery – choked on a sob and turned his face away to rub as his eyes with a shaking hand.

“You don’t remember anything, do you?” the blonde asked despondently.

Die frowned, worry building in his stomach. He should know what was wrong, he realized. Something was direly amiss and the memory of it was fluttering just out of reach of his dizzy mind. When the thread holding his flesh together was tied off and trimmed, he sat up and scanned the room.

Shinya, ever the elegant professional in crisp pinstriped slacks, the matching jacket set aside so the long sleeves of a white dress shirt could be rolled up over whipcord arms. He was peeling off blood-streaked latex gloves and cleaning up the mess of sterile thread and bloody antiseptic wipes. His lovely face was, as usual, a stoic mask of calculating authority, but the strain of worry could be seen around his eyes.

Kyo, having long since abandoned the tailored suits he’d worn as the Terachi family’s Prophet, was dressed in torn up jeans and a sleeveless shirt. Bare, tattooed arms were wrapped defensively around his chest, strong shoulders trembling uncontrollably. The blond head was bowed, dark gold eyes narrow, as the smaller man fought to regain his composure.

Toshiya Hara, Shinya’s ever-vigilant bodyguard, stood behind his boss in the antiquated, almost feminine suits he preferred. Rich black fabric conformed gracefully to slender limbs and a narrow waist, jacket tails fluttering behind impossibly long legs. He was watching Die with a troubling mix of sympathy, concern, and pity, chewing at his lower lip.

Die’s heart froze as he scanned the room once more, his stitches pulling painfully as he twisted around to check every corner. The one person that should have been there – that was always there, that Die had assumed was there because he had been every waking moment since the day Die was born, around whom Die’s life revolved wholly and absolutely – was not.

“Where the fuck is Kaoru?”

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**June 5 th \- 10:00 pm**

“How could you call them here?!” Die hissed, white light glinting off his sunglasses as he loomed menacingly over his boss’s lover/advisor, the effect only slightly lessened by the ice pack he had against his head.

Kyo bristled defensively. “You came into the office bleeding all over the place, gibbering like a damn drunk, and then passed out! You were alone! What the hell was I supposed to do?! I needed help – we _need_ help getting Kaoru back – and I trust them.”

The topics of their heated discussion – Shinya and Toshiya – stood politely on the other side of the room, murmuring quietly between themselves. Die had woken half naked and vulnerable under Shinya’s hands and with Kaoru gone missing, the man’s presence in the Niikura headquarters felt deeply threatening. Though friendship had blossomed and thrived between the Terachi and Niikura family heads, due largely in part to their respective attachments to Kyo, under duress, Die was quick to remember the shakier beginnings of their relationship. The redhead found himself building into a defensive – and maybe a little panicked – fit of temper.

“You shouldn’t! Terachi tried to kill Kaoru, in case you forgot – hell, he put a hit out on you – and he can’t appreciate being stuck as a figurehead paying tribute to this family. For all we know, he could be behind Kaoru’s kidnapping!”

“Don’t be an ass, Die! Shinya wouldn’t-”

“You don’t know that!” The redhead spun on his heel and stalked towards the conference room door, dropping his ice pack in favor of his bloodied jacket as he passed the table.

“Where are you going?!” Kyo demanded.

“To look for Kaoru.” Die was caught up short when Toshiya slid between himself and the door before he could open it. “Move, Hara.”

Toshiya shook his head. “Sorry, Die.”

Shinya’s voice came, soft but uncompromising. “You don’t know where he is, or who has him, and you have a concussion. You’re not leaving this tower tonight.”

Die snarled, “You have no right _-”_

“Die, stop, you can’t help Kaoru this way!” Kyo snapped, grabbing Die’s arm and trying to pull him back out of Toshiya’s face.

“Get off me!” Die jerked his arm angrily, trying to dislodge the blonde’s hold.

Toshiya reached out anxiously. “Look, just calm down _-_ ”

Kyo was getting frustrated, his grip getting too tight. “Die, you have to-”

“Kyo, get _-_ ”

“Just fucking-”

“Get off-”

“Daisuke-”

“If we just-”

“Die, maybe-”

“I SAID GET OFF OF ME!”

A loud, fleshy crack sounded in the room, and everything went still and silent for one horrible moment. Toshiya’s hands came up to cover his mouth, eyes wide, and even Shinya looked shocked. Die stared, panting a little, at his own outstretched fist, feeling a familiar tingling spread across his knuckles. Kyo’s head came back slowly from where it had been knocked to the side, a red mark quickly forming on his cheek.

Die’s furious face went slack, his entire body slumping as all the frantic anger drained out of him, leaving only sharp guilt in its wake. “Kyo… gods, Kyo, I… I’m so sorry… I…”

The blonde sighed and wrapped his arms around the taller man’s shaking shoulders. “It’s okay, Die.”

The gentle touch broke something in Die, and he fell to his knees. Large hands tangled desperately in Kyo’s shirt as Die hid his face against his younger friend’s chest, his wavering voice muffled by cloth and flesh. “I’m sorry, Kyo, I’m so sorry… I _lost_ him… gods… he’s gone and it’s my fault and I don’t-… I’m sorry, Kyo… I’m so sorry…”

Shinya turned away politely, mindful of Die’s cherished pride, but Toshiya couldn’t bring himself not to watch. Since he’d first met the Niikura family’s Head of Security, he’d harbored a deep admiration for the man, and it had easily developed into a bit of a crush. The redhead always carried himself with such strength and poise and – when necessary – such menace, it seemed that Kaoru would remain immortal simply for Die having intimidated Death himself from touching the man. He knew from the few casual outings that the five of them had gone on that there was something bright and fun and human behind those black sunglasses, but so far he hadn’t been able to access much of it. Panicking and concussed, the redhead’s defenses were flagging horribly, and Toshiya snatched up the opportunity to see past them.

Shinya’s authoritative voice cut through the tense air with gentle command. “Toshiya, please help Die back up to his room. Stay with him and make sure he rests. Kyo, I will be staying in my usual quarters here for the time being, please get your computer and join me there. I need you to send out your eyes and ears to see if we can’t figure out who has our friend, then we’ll need to get everything set up to run smoothly in his absence.”

Kyo nodded, stepping away from Die and taking a deep, shuddering breath to steady himself. “Not the office?”

The auburn-haired man smiled a little and rested a hand lightly on his best friend’s shoulder, though a sidewise glance caught Die’s intent gaze. “That’s not my place, Kyo. Goodness knows I have enough on my plate as it is; I have no interest in occupying Kaoru’s throne even temporarily.”

Die allowed Toshiya to help him back to his feet, his energy having fled with his temper. He was deeply accustomed to taking orders, anyways, and Shinya’s commanding presence was an unexpected reassurance. Still, he couldn’t contain his protective nature entirely. “I can go myself… Toshiya should stay to watch you two.”

Shinya shook his head. “You have a concussion, Daisuke. Toshiya will stay with you to make sure you don’t get any worse; I don’t want to send you to the hospital, but I will if it becomes necessary. Kyo, who was the gentleman you had phone me earlier?”

“Akio? Die makes him babysit me when he and Kao are out,” Kyo responded, making a face. “He’s the only security guard we have that knows I’m not a concubine.”

Toshiya snorted a bit, and hid it behind a cough when Shinya shot him a dirty look.

“He already knows about Kaoru, then. He can stay with Kyo and I, if that will make you feel better,” Shinya offered.

Die nodded – Akio was one of his most trusted lieutenants – and followed Toshiya to the elevator without further protest. The silence stretched between them was tense, and without distraction, Die felt himself spiraling quickly into overwhelming guilt and anxiety. His sole purpose in life was to keep Kaoru safe from harm, and he had failed miserably. He had spent few nights away from him in his life, and even fewer days, and he had never not known exactly where the man was. Thoughts of his best friend lying cold and grey in a gutter with dead eyes and a slit throat haunted him and made his stomach turn viciously.

“Shinya would never do anything to hurt Kaoru, you know. It’s not like it was before… We both consider ourselves part of the Niikura family, and beyond that, you guys are our friends.” Toshiya’s voice cut through the quiet air. “You’ll never see him show it, but Shin’s just as worried about him as you and Kyo are. We’re only here to help get him back.”

Die glanced at the younger man and found dark eyes watching him with ill-disguised sympathy. He grimaced a little; he must look like hell, to be getting a look like that. “Yeah…”

The elevator dinged and Die led the way back to the suite he shared with Kaoru. Toshiya kept close to his side, ready to catch him if he should stumble, as the redhead shuffled tiredly into his bedroom. Die couldn’t help but notice the inquisitive eyes that tracked his every move as he stripped down to his boxers, but chose not to mention it. He knew the younger man had some weird fascination with him, but Toshiya had never acted on it, and Die wasn’t generally one to entertain such pursuits. He had no time to spare for lovers and flings.

Toshiya scanned the room around him curiously. Despite the dire circumstances that allowed him into this haven, he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see a little bit of Die that was usually hidden to him. It was almost too clean; every surface free of dust and fingerprints, everything neatly put away in its proper place. There was an extensive weapons display that Toshiya would explore later, but something more personal caught his attention. Heedless of Die’s stare on his back, he went to inspect the two long shelves mounted one above the other on the side wall, cluttered with trophies, framed photographs, and little souvenirs.

A signed baseball. A medal for first place in a kendo tournament. A spiral seashell. Countless tickets to sporting events, movies, theme parks. A painted wooden doll in a faded silk kimono. A knife with a curved blade and an ivory handle carved into the shape of a pouncing tiger. Most of the photos were of other people – family, Toshiya supposed – but in every single photo that Die was in, even when he wasn’t looking at the camera, the redhead’s face was split with a brilliant smile.

He picked up one from behind the seashell. Kaoru and Die, gangly teenagers only just growing into their frames, were on a beach under a blinding afternoon sun, wearing only swim trunks and huge grins. Kaoru had both arms wrapped around Die’s chest from behind and was swinging him around, sending long, skinny limbs all akimbo and kicking up sparkling drops of sea water all around them. Die’s face – cat-like eyes wide and sparkling with mirth, cupid’s-bow mouth caught in eternal silent laughter – was the very picture of joy and innocence.

_‘Gods, why would he ever cover those eyes? And that smile…’_

“You’re nosey,” Die grumbled, interrupting his musings. “You people are always so caught up by photos. Do the Terachis not have pictures in their homes?”

“Almost none, and all of them are the crappy professional, staged kinds. Nothing fun or interesting like these,” Toshiya responded with a grin, returning the frame to its place. “I just never expected you to be such a sentimental person, to have a collection like this.”

“That so?” Die snorted, trying to make himself comfortable with an aching chest and a throbbing head. “Kyo was surprised that I play baseball.”

“With those shoulders? I’m not surprised at all.” Toshiya eyed the older man thoughtfully, then padded into the adjoining bathroom to rummage through the medicine cabinet. “You need to sleep if you want to heal up. I’ll have to wake you up a few times, though.”

“I know.” Die wasn’t necessarily prone to head injuries, but this wasn’t his first concussion. By tomorrow, he would probably have most of his memory of the past few hours back, even if he never remembered the specific event that caused the injury.

When the Terachi Head of Security returned, he had two white pills and a glass of water. “Here.”

Die eyed the pills warily. He knew of Toshiya's relationship with Kyo, and how much of it had revolved around drug use. “…I’m fine.”

The younger man rolled his eyes. “It’s acetaminophen. I wouldn’t roofie a man with a head injury.”

“Such a gentleman…” Die sighed and took the pills. If it _was_ Rohypnol, at least he’d be able to sleep.

“I promise I’ll only molest you a little.”

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**June 6 th \- 9:00 am**

Waking up had been a bitter disappointment for Die, and he found himself in a sour mood. He was still filthy; skin stiff with dried blood, sweat, and streaks of street grime. Toshiya was still in his room; sleeping on the floor with his back propped up against the wall. His chest was still held together with stitches; a dull, stinging ache that pulled uncomfortably with every movement. All of which meant the previous evening was not a horrible nightmare. Kaoru was truly gone.

To be allowed to shower without supervision had been a bit of a challenge. Toshiya had argued that he should stay nearby in case Die got dizzy and fell. Die had responded that if Toshiya followed him into the bathroom, he would break both of the man’s arms. In the end, Toshiya acquiesced, but Die was forced to give ground later when the younger man insisted on helping him get dressed. The redhead had managed to fully dress his lower half on his own, but found that putting on even a simple undershirt without help pulled dangerously at the stitches on his chest.

Now, standing in the conference room in a hard-won suit and customary dark glasses, he couldn’t seem to stop himself pacing. “No, I remember now, but it’s just… it’s all completely fucking useless. I didn’t recognize any of the men that attacked us, the people we went to meet weren’t even _there_ , and when I woke up all of the bodies were just gone _._ ”

Kyo sighed, scratching tiredly at his face. He clearly hadn’t slept the night before, moving listlessly with dark shadows under his eyes. “We have people out looking for suspicious activity or news within other families, but when we can’t really tell them that Kaoru’s missing… I just don’t think they’re going to be much help.”

“Whoever did this is either a cold bastard, or desperate,” Toshiya mused. “Not many people would throw away that many lives to grab one person, even someone like Kaoru. If I didn’t see him buried myself, I’d be tempted to think Kunio was behind it.”

Shinya had to agree. His father had been a decidedly cruel man at times, and would have thought nothing of letting dozens of men die to get at the Head of the Niikura family. “What about Nakago? His borders are fairly close to where you two were last night.”

Kyo shook his head. “Die would be dead, and Kaoru’s head would be on a pike in our lobby by now. Nakago doesn’t leave or keep people alive, and he’s _never_ subtle.”

The four men were quiet for a long time, contemplating what little information they had, wracking their brains for any new ideas or theories. When the door clicked open, even the soft sound was jarring in the tense quiet of the room, and found Die and Toshiya both aiming pistols at the intruder. Akio – a difficult man to ruffle even on the worst days – simply raised an eyebrow. He held a small cardboard box carefully between both hands.

“Sirs.” He bowed deeply, his massive frame bent at a sharp, precise angle. “Excuse my intrusion, but I thought you’d want to see this.”

“It’s fine, Akio,” Kyo grumbled. “What have you got?”

“We found it in the front lobby this morning. It’s addressed to you and Mr. Andou.” The large man stepped forward, placing the box on the table. “There’s no return address and it… well, sir, it upset the dogs.”

“A bomb?” the blonde asked, frowning. Why the hell would Akio bring shit like that further into the building?

“No, sir. The dogs didn’t indicate for bombs, drugs, or poisons, but they all seemed disturbed by it.”

Kyo chewed his lip and slid the box closer to himself for inspection. It was such an innocent looking package, plain white cardboard with his name and Die’s etched neatly onto the top in thick black marker, but somehow he found himself perturbed by it. Die stepped forward to stand by the smaller blonde, taking the box from his friend. A practiced hand fished a folding knife out of one back pocket and flipped it open, sliding the blade carefully through clear tape.

Die’s blood ran cold, and Kyo choked on a hysterical whimper. Nestled in a bed of crimson tissue paper were a handful of silver rings, an elegant cross necklace, a cellphone, and a wallet. All of them were streaked with dried blood, and all of them were undeniably Kaoru’s. The redhead shoved the box away from himself and backed away from the table, hands flexing and clenching as if the package had been full of plagued rats. Kyo was trying valiantly not to be sick, but the green tinge around his lips was telling and Akio moved quickly to bring him a waste basket.

Shinya came around to examine the package, reaching in and pulling out a folded sheet of thick paper. “What’s this…?”

Careful fingers unfolded the paper and when Die looked over the younger man’s shoulders to catch sight of the image printed on the front, he felt his heart constrict viciously. Kaoru, blindfolded and panting through split, bloodied lips, stripped nude with his arms bound behind his back. He was on his knees on a cracked cement floor, legs spread to expose every part of him, and deep, bloody bruises colored all of the flesh that wasn’t already stained by tattoos. Kaoru had fought his captor, and lost.

Shinya was more interested in the text on the back of the photo, written in the same hand as the label on the box, “-Poor Niikura, he has no idea why he’s here, doesn’t even know who I am. I suppose such a man could hardly be expected to remember someone he only met twice. But he has nothing to do with this, really. You, Andou, who rode into this world on your father’s lauded coattails and thought to leash me, you would recognize me. Nishimura would know me – he will always know me, as I will always know him. We ruined one another, once, drove each other to madness and beyond. Niikura is innocent in this, but he will suffer for my grievances in your places.-”

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**June 6 th \- 12:00 pm**

_Kaoru and Die sat on creaking swings, legs dangling listlessly as they rested from a long day of play. At only ten years of age, their faces were still soft with baby fat and the limbs exposed by shorts and tank tops were skinny and hairless. Die swung side to side slowly, occasionally bumping against Kaoru if he pulled one chain or the other a bit too hard. The park was fairly quiet for a sunny fall day, though the wind was starting to become a bit crisp._

_“Father said… I start interrogation training tomorrow,” Die said abruptly, eyes fixed on the wood chips beneath his feet._

_“…What does that mean?” Kaoru asked, though he knew the answer._

_“I have to learn how to make people tell me their secrets by… by hurting them. Father says when you’re the boss, I’ll have to be your ‘bloody right hand.’”_

_Kaoru looked over at his best friend curiously. As he grew older, he was slowly gaining a healthy respect for the dark nature their lives would one day take on, but Die always seemed to maintain his innocent naivety. He wondered, not for the first time, if his gentle friend could ever bring himself to inflict violence on another person. If those bright eyes and carefree smile would ever harden into the steely mask Die’s father always wore._

_“Kao?”_

_“Yeah, Die?”_

_“What if… what if I can’t do it? What if I’m not strong enough or… what if I can’t be your right hand? Would you replace me?”_

_Kaoru bristled a bit and grabbed the nearest chain of Die’s swing, pulling them closer together. “Never. If you can’t come with me, I won’t take over the family.”_

_Die’s eyes – always so expressive – stared at his friend with shock. “You wouldn’t be the boss?”_

_Kaoru nodded authoritatively, his overwhelming confidence foreshadowing the man he would become. “Yeah. We can go be famous soccer players or rock stars or something, I don’t care. But I’m not going without you. We’re going to be best friends forever.”_

_Die’s grin was brilliant and seemed to brighten the very air around them. Kaoru responded with his own smile and let go of Die’s swing to kick back and forth on his own. They were so wrapped up in themselves and each other that they never noticed the man approaching them with long, intent strides until he was only a few yards away from them. Die caught sight of him first, and his rapidly fading grin brought Kaoru’s attention up as well._ _Middle-aged with hard lines wearing deep into his face, the man carried himself with a barely-perceptible hunch, as if carrying a terrible burden or grief. A chill wind tugged at his long grey jacket and close-cropped black hair as he pulled a long knife with a curved blade and a gleaming ivory hilt out of his sleeve, frigid eyes intent on Kaoru as he moved ever closer._

_“Sorry, kid. This is nothing personal against you.”_

_Kaoru’s eyes were wide with fear, but he fought to keep his voice steady. He’d been instructed how to deal with this moment since he was old enough to talk. “You… you won’t get anything for kidnapping me. They won’t even talk to you; they’ll just hunt you down and kill you.”_

_Die scanned the park frantically for his and Kaoru’s fathers, spotting them on the far side of the wide lawn along with Kaoru’s uncle. They had seen the man and were running full tilt towards them, the beverages they’d been enjoying abandoned in the grass. Die knew the effort was wasted. They would never make it back in time._

_“I’m not here to kidnap you. Your uncle took my son from me… he needs to know the pain of that loss before he ever inflicts it on another man.”_

_The man moved forward with sudden speed, the knife lashing out like a striking snake, intent on the soft flesh of Kaoru’s throat. It was caught up bare inches short of its goal as it became imbedded in the thickest part of Die’s hand, slipping between thin bones to pierce through to the other side, splashing a few drops of blood across Kaoru’s face. His body followed just after, knocking Kaoru back and blocking the would-be assassin’s path, the blade trapped within the muscles and bones of his hand. Bleeding heavily and straining to hold back the force of the large man, the younger boy was absolutely livid._

_The anger in Die’s soft eyes when he spared a half-second’s glance over his shoulder was more intense than anything Kaoru had ever seen on his friend’s face and even the man seemed taken aback, his grip on the knife loosening briefly. In that weak moment, Die’s bloody fingers closed around the blade and pulled it away, his other hand coming up to pull it from his flesh with a horrifying wet sound. He had spent a significant portion of his short life learning various forms of combat, hand-to-hand and armed, and his body seemed to know what to do. Which was good, because his mind was a gibbering haze of panic, pain, and fear. His uninjured hand lashed out once, cutting a clean line across the man’s throat, then again, driving the blade to the hilt between the man’s ribs._

_The man dropped to his knees with a thud, then flopped to the side, blood rushing from him in a shocking torrent, dead before he hit the ground. Die stared down at him, panting; at the slack face with wide eyes frozen in startled confusion, staring off into the void. The hilt of the long knife was carved in the shape of a roaring tiger, claws outstretched, and the once-pure white ivory had taken on a deep red stain, almost black where the liquid congealed in engraved stripes. Die was equally soaked in the sanguine fluid. The boy’s eyes went wide as the severity of what he’d just done struck him. He had never seen more than a few drops of blood in his life, had never seen a man die in real life, and his hand… The pain of his injury washed over him all at once and his face contorted into the strained grimace only children can make, and he fought the urge to cry._

_“Daisuke! Kaoru!” Shigeru Andou called, skidding to a halt next to them, kneeling to grab Die’s wrist and examine his wound._

_“Son, what happened?” Kaoru’s father demanded, one hand on his son’s shaking shoulder._

_Kaoru’s voice wavered ever so slightly, wiping the blood off his face and staring at it. “He said Uncle killed his son… so he was going to kill me.”_

_Tomohiro Niikura sighed and nudged the dead body with the toe of one shoe. “We’ll have to assign an escort to watch over you two… I never thought anyone would be so bold as to attack the family through you children, but it seems I miscalculated.”_

_Fat tears were falling down Die’s cheeks, but he was valiantly fighting sobs as he pulled away from his father and flung his arms around Kaoru. He didn’t see the pride in his father’s eyes, nor the satisfaction in Tomohiro’s, and he wouldn’t have cared if he did. His hand was bleeding profusely, and the pain was worse than anything he’d ever felt, but that didn’t matter either. His best friend was safe. Skinny arms wrapped around him securely and he knew in that moment that he would do anything – absolutely anything – for Kaoru; suffer or inflict any pain, just so long as he could be with his friend._

_“I don’t need a escort. I have Die.”_

Die ran a thumb over the scar hidden beneath scale tattoos; a nervous habit he’d never broken. Kyo had flown into a hysterical screaming fit after seeing the photo of his battered lover and Shinya had spent the better part of an hour talking him back down. Chairs were thrown, the table was over-turned, and the blonde now sat curled up in the corner, chain smoking and pretending to ignore the tears that fell every time he blinked. Shinya sat beside him, legs outstretched, one arm wrapped around his trembling shoulders. Toshiya was working with Akio to put the room back together, striving to remain unobtrusive in the face of the grief filling the room.

Die felt… numb, and a little sick. Whoever had kidnapped Kaoru had apparently done so for the express purpose of hurting himself and Kyo. He had been taken not because he was the leader of the mighty Niikura family, not because he was rich, not because he had committed some injustice that elicited a thirst for revenge. No, it was simply because Die and Kyo loved him, and someone hated _them_.

Hearing an ill-disguised sniffle from his younger blonde friend, Die allowed anger wash over him in a flood to cauterize his pain. How dare someone take his Kaoru from him? How dare they hurt him, how dare they mar his flesh, how dare they strip him bare and truss him like a common prisoner, how _dare_ they make his lover cry? The anger was tainted with helplessness – he felt no closer to knowing where Kaoru was than he had been before they opened the box – but filled him with a fire that made his entire body quiver.

Toshiya eyed the redhead for a long moment, then moved to whisper into Shinya’s ear. Upon receiving a nod from the shorter man, he moved over to stand by Die’s chair, bending a bit at the waist. “Die?”

“Un?” Die’s head came up, startled. “What’s up?”

“Does this tower have an exercise facility?”

Die blinked, head tilting slightly.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**June 6 th \- 1:30 pm**

Stripped to his slacks and undershirt, bare feet moving silently across the mats padding floor, Die couldn’t help the little thrill of anticipation that washed through him. His eyes flicked up to the floor-to-ceiling mirror that spanned the length of the wall, eyeing the slender brunette across the room. He rarely got to spar people hand to hand anymore – no one in the building was willing to challenge him – and Toshiya was an appealing opponent, being roughly the same size as himself and having earned the same position in another prominent family, but with completely different training. Die could admit to a certain curiosity about the Terachi Head of Security’s skills and was eager to see how they meshed against his own.

Plus he really needed to punch something, and Toshiya was as good a target as any.

He strapped on the thick pads over his forearms that would serve as his only protection and shook himself a little to wake up. As he turned, he saw Toshiya was similarly stripped and prepared, rolling his shoulders in a lazy stretch and bringing his hands up loosely, shifting his weight to the balls of his feet. The redhead brought his fists up as well, sharp eyes examining his opponent through dark shades.

They circled slowly, like prowling wolves, light on their feet with arms raised at the ready. A couple times they drifted closer together and exchanged light, testing blows that were easily dodged or blocked with arm guards. They left one another deliberate, tempting openings that by and large went ignored. Finally, after a couple light taps with his off hand, Die sent his fist plummeting toward Toshiya’s face. The younger man caught it against his guard, but had to take a step back with a grunt; Die hit like a brick. He struck back and landed a glancing blow to Die’s wounded chest, causing the redhead to return a bit of lost ground; Toshiya fought dirty.

Toshiya dropped to one knee and kicked Die’s legs out from underneath him. Die caught himself halfway down and countered with a foot to the younger man’s chest. Toshiya dodged the kick and ducked past it, striking out at the redhead and landing a sharp blow to the man’s collarbone that was returned with a shot to his skull. Toshiya lashed out again and Die caught his wrist, whipping him around until his head was caught under the older man’s constricting arm. He drove his fist into an unprotected side and dodged backwards as the grip on his neck was slackened.

Around and around they danced, the silence of the room broken only by soft panting and the sound of flesh hitting flesh. For every successful blow their movements became faster, just as controlled but with more sincere intention. Die found himself becoming lost in the violence, venting all of his guilt and strain on his surprisingly competent partner. He had the advantage of strength and was easily the superior when they got caught in a grapple, but Toshiya was incredibly agile and had a bit more reach than Die did.

As their dance became more fevered, Die noticed an odd look come into Toshiya’s eyes. The man was looking for something, watching his every movement with something very specific in mind. He found it when Die took an ill-advised shot from too far back, overextending his arm and finding it trapped and wrenched around his back as his legs were kicked from beneath him. Toshiya kept the grip on his arm as he crashed facedown onto the floor, his sunglasses skittering across the room. Die was temporarily blinded by the pain exploding from his wounded chest as he was pressed down into the mats.

“ _Fuck_ , Toshiya!” he found himself hissing, unable to free his arm for fear of pulling his stitches. As it was, he wasn’t entirely sure they were still intact.

“Sorry, I don’t play fair,” a playful voice teased, uncomfortably close to his ear. “Anyways, I don’t think I could have won if you weren’t already a little tenderized for me.”

The redhead grumbled as he conceded, letting his body go slack in submission. After a moment with no sign he was going to be released, he squirmed, frowning. “You going to let me up?”

The grip on his wrist went let up, and Die rolled onto his back just long enough to refill his aching lungs and pull up his shirt to check his wound for damage. A bit bloody, but otherwise unharmed. Before he could sit up, though, he found restraining weight pushing down on his hips and strong hands trapping his wrists against the mats by his head, robbing him of the leverage necessary to pull free.

“What the hell? What are you doing?” Die demanded, reeling back as Toshiya’s face loomed over his own. They were so close he could feel the longer part of the younger man’s bangs brushing over his forehead.

“Kyo was right. Without your glasses, your face is an open book.”

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**June 6 th \- 2:30 pm**

 “What the hell is wrong with you?! Get off of me, Toshiya, this isn’t funny!” Die snarled.

Stretched out beneath the younger man, he felt vulnerable and trapped, and his heart was pounding in his chest. It had been years since anyone had gotten the upper hand on him, even by cheating, and what Toshiya was doing with it was wholly unnerving. There were probably a few ways to get out of the hold, but all of them risked pulling his stitches apart, and he couldn’t justify damaging himself for the sake of his wounded pride.

Toshiya’s answering smile lacked all of his customary flippancy. “It isn’t meant to be. To the victor go the spoils, right?”

Die growled and tried to brace his legs to push the other man off, but his rebellion stuttered to a halt when he felt lean hips roll down into his, a hard heat pressing down against him. His eyes went wide and his breath caught in his throat, his voice wavering just a shade. “What… what are you…”

“Hush,” the younger man murmured, leaning down to nudge his nose against Die’s jaw, nipping lightly at a soft earlobe. “Just relax and let me take care of you, alright? You don’t have to be strong, here. You don’t have to be in control.”

Die wanted to fight back, wanted to yell and hit the younger man for having the audacity to molest him this way. But he couldn’t deny or hide the fact that Toshiya was having an effect on him, his face flushed and his pants tight. The slow, steady movements against his groin were intoxicating and it took everything he had to not push up against that delicious friction like a mindless beast in heat. As long as it had been since anyone had beaten Die in hand-to-hand combat, it had been even longer since he’d enjoyed another person touching him. The vast majority of what little sex he had was purely mercenary; a means to Kaoru’s ends. He could admit to himself that Toshiya was an attractive man, trustworthy enough (he hoped), and seeing the deadly grace with which the man moved had been breathtaking.

But to give up the self-control that he always strived to maintain to someone like _Toshimasa Hara_ _?_ Toshiya, who was technically his subordinate as a member of the Niikura family security forces, even if only a handful of people knew it? Toshiya, who once spent a full dizzy year pumping a seemingly never-ending supply of drugs into himself and Kyo to fuel their deviant sex life? Toshiya, who played the part of the ditsy, slutty brat so well that even Die couldn’t always be sure he wasn’t completely underestimating the man? It was a terrifying loss of stability and though a shockingly large part of him accepted Toshiya’s command, the rest of him was panicked at the prospect of further vulnerability.

…Gods, it had been so long since another person had touched him.

“Relax,” Toshiya was whispering into his ear, hips rolling in steady waves, sending shivers down his spine. “Let it be easy, Die, and I’ll make everything feel better.”

 “Why are you doing this?” the redhead asked, his voice tinged with desperation.

“Because you need it, and I want it. You don’t have to be alone all the time, you know. If I let your hands go, will you let me continue? I promise you’ll enjoy yourself,” Toshiya purred, every part of him dripping confidence and self-indulgence.

 _‘You don’t have to be alone.’_ The words echoed in Die’s mind and silenced the frenzied agitation that had been building, replacing it with a longing ache. “…Yes.”

Toshiya’s grin was wide and hedonistic, and it made Die squirm as his wrists were released. He wasn’t fully sure what to do with his newfound freedom, and he gasped a little when a clever tongue flicked teasingly over his lower lip. That enticing mouth never met his, but he couldn’t be disappointed as it began to make its sinful way down his neck and chest. Soft, wet butterfly kisses explored quivering skin, fluttering over sensitive nipples and ribs. The weight on his hips lifted and slid down, a long back stretching out into a graceful arch. A tongue flicked into a shallow navel, earning a heady gasp. Deft hands slid down his belly and undid his belt with little preamble, pulling open his fly with maddeningly little contact.

Then those plush lips were on him, around him, swallowing his arousal and setting his nerves on fire. His world narrowed down to the wet heat engulfing him and he could think of nothing other than that mouth, those lips, that _tongue_ that effectively reduced him to a writhing pile of ecstasy. His head fell back with a strained moan as Toshiya’s long fingers slid up the insides of his thighs and the younger man started up a fierce suction.

Toshiya was as smug as any man could be with a cock in his mouth. He loved the needy, desperate noises Die was making, loved that he could take such a powerful man and dissolve his will. To him, the redhead had always been a tempered steel bulwark, standing between Kaoru and the world, and now he had melted that indomitable shield into a pool of dripping, molten pleasure.

Under different circumstances, he might have drawn this out, might have teased and played with Die until the man could do nothing but pant and beg. But today, his goal was to provide a pure, unadulterated torrent of pleasure that would bring Die over the edge without control, without hesitation, without regret. To strip away his pains and worries and leave nothing but contentment behind. His lips and tongue moved with the confidence and skill afforded to a man that knew what he wanted and how to get it, and right now he wanted Die to absolutely lose his mind in physical bliss. His only regret was that from his place between the older man’s legs, he couldn’t see the ecstasy swirl through those phenomenally expressive eyes. He contented himself with the redhead’s voice; sweet and smooth as hot caramel and delightfully addictive, sending delicious shivers down his own spine.

Die’s long fingers dug into the mats until his knuckles were white, his hips rolling once, twice into Toshiya’s hot mouth until the younger man’s hands pressed him down. He knew his moans and cries were becoming shockingly loud in the small room, but he couldn’t stop himself. With every swirl of a soft, skillful tongue, every slide of full, plush lips, Die felt the red-hot coil of passion in his groin tighten and tighten. The passionate noises he was pouring forth came abruptly to a strangled halt, giving Toshiya just enough warning to pull back before he reached his climax. It felt like every nerve in his body burst, overwhelming bliss washing over him in a flood that left him shaking and empty.

Every drop of his cum was swallowed, every centimeter of his member licked clean, and he panted harshly as he struggled to understand the significance of what had just transpired.

“Daisuke?”

Toshiya was muffled somehow, through the haze of pleasure fogging his mind, and Die could only respond with a less-than dignified murmur. He couldn’t remember the last time an orgasm had hit him with such intensity, powerful enough to leave his bones quivering and his limbs numb. The younger man chuckled a bit as he tucked Die back into his pants then reached up to brush red hair out of his eyes with a gentle hand.

“Die,” that smooth voice purred, a long body sliding up against his to press an insistent hardness into his hip. “As much as I would love to plow you into these mats right here and now, they’re a bit stiff for my tastes. Is there somewhere more comfortable we can go?”

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: The opening scene of this chapter describes past underage prostitution - completely non-explicit, but very clear as to the nature of the situation. Continue at your own discretion.

**June 6 th \- 7:00 pm**

_The lights in the large room were soft and low, instilling a feeling of quiet intimacy in the thin crowd milling within. Juunishi-Ya was a club that one had to know people who knew people who knew people to gain entry to, on top of the pretty penny it cost just to walk through the front doors. In certain circles, it was considered a paradise; a haven for those connoisseurs whose refined tastes could not be sated anywhere else in the city. The club was, as its name suggested, a zodiac-themed establishment; the main common room a massive circular affair with twelve small stages evenly spaced around the outside edge. Each night, twelve children ranging in age from six to sixteen years would come out in elaborate, themed costumed for preying eyes to explore, and the silent flesh auction would begin._

_Die knelt on his stage, eyeing the room critically. On his left, The Rabbit was going largely ignored tonight. Sometimes the nervous-looking young girl in her fluffy bikini and arm warmers was a huge hit, others she was a bust. She would warm to a patient touch, if that was what her buyer chose to try, but her default reaction was always one of skittishness. The eager-to-please Dog on his right, dressed comfortably in jean shorts and a striped tee-shirt, was doing well enough. With bright eyes and an easy smile, the boy was well-liked for his willingness to rub into an outstretched hand before security came to dissuade contact before purchase. Die didn’t have to work so hard for the attention he received; his stage was always a popular stop._

_He was encased head to toe in glossy black vinyl punctuated with steel studs and rings, all the way up to the mask covering the bottom half of his face, but the clingy material left little to the imagination. Glimmering silver chains attached him to the bars of the open steel cage he rested in, flashing and jingling with every enticing movement he made. At fourteen years old, he was all arms and legs, and those gangly limbs tempted many hungry eyes, like wolves to a stumbling colt, even as his kohl-lined eyes issued challenge to all those who dared approach. The Tiger – the bondage theme with a rebellious twist – was always a favorite at Juunishi-Ya._

_Die had been in this place for nearly a month now, and it was wearing terribly on his soul as well as his body. He’d lost every last notion of innocence he’d ever clung to here; every inch of his body touched, caressed, violated each night by the auction winners. He’d been whipped and paddled, bound and gagged, tortured with pain and pleasure like nothing he’d ever imagined, his sensitive teenage nerves producing shamefully intense reactions. The Tiger was a notorious biter, so he remained “muzzled” most nights, but those bold enough to free his mouth had made just as cruel use of it as all the rest of him._

_For all of it, he’d put up only the token resistance that attracted these particular patrons. He was here for a reason, after all; he couldn’t compromise the mission for his own pride or comfort. Every night he waited, hoping to catch the eye of one man in particular. One man who was here tonight, now coming to a stop in front of his stage. Tucked away in the silk and sin room assigned to Die was a knife with a long, curved blade and an ivory hilt carved into the shape of a white tiger, and tonight, he hoped that beloved blade would taste this vile man’s blood, and stain that tiger red once more. To be alone in a room with this man even for a few short moments would more-than justify every pain, humiliation, and violation he’d suffered._

_Dark eyes flared wildly beneath newly-reddened hair and Die allowed himself to yank at his decorative chains just enough to rattle the bars of his cage. His target stepped closer, running greedy eyes over gawky limbs, listening to the husky growl muffled by the vinyl mask strapped to the boy’s face. The Tiger was a decadent mix of youthful awkwardness and inherent grace, tainted innocence and tempered sin, fierce rebellion and cowed submission. The man wet his lips eagerly and came to the panel in front of Die’s stage, inputting his bid with quick, practiced motions._

_‘That’s right, you son of a bitch.’ Die growled and leaned as far forward as he could, chest and arms straining at his bonds in a way he knew the man would love. ‘Come into my den. Come crack the whip and try to tame the vicious tiger. You think you can run this filthy place behind Tomohiro’s back?_ Sully _the Niikura name with your disgusting fetishes? I won’t see you tarnish Kaoru’s inheritance. Come into my den. I’ve come for blood, and I won’t leave without it.’_

Die stirred from the unwelcome dream/memory, face scrunching up as he pulled himself into a languid stretch and a deep yawn. Every muscle in his body was heavy, as if drained, and there was telltale soreness in his lower back that he recognized easily and savored. Looking around, he found his bed and his room empty; a bit vexing considering how he’d spent the hours before his brief nap. Even if Toshiya was disinclined to stick around after sex, Die’s pride was just a touch irked to find that the man’s movements hadn’t woken him up.

Something smelled delicious, and he assumed that someone had brought dinner into the living area of the suite – probably Kyo. The blonde disliked the prying eyes that followed him in the dining hall, but he typically didn’t mind Die’s company, and would usually order up enough food for him as well. Die sat up and started to slide out of bed until his eyes caught on something out of place on his bedside table. There was a sloppy cluster of covered plates and bowls there, precariously stacked and steaming gently. Tucked under one of the bowls was a slightly-crumpled sheet of white paper, and Die tugged it out, careful not to dislodge any of the dishes. Curious eyes scanned over gracefully curved, almost feminine handwriting.

-Die,

I figured I should leave while you’re asleep just in case you want to punch me in the face or something when you wake up. Kyo is already out for my blood, and I can only take so much of a beating. I’m too pretty to die today! Although if I do, I suppose it would be a happier death than I usually imagine for myself. Shit, you’re really cute when you sleep, you know that?

You probably already know I’ve had a huge crush on you for like… three years. Since we met! I was all drugged and pissed off and confused in your interrogation room and even then, from the moment I saw you, I thought you were so damn cool! You never seemed all that interested in me, though, so I let it be. I’m pretty good at reading people, did you know that? It’s hard with you though, especially with those damn glasses (your eyes are fucking gorgeous, you should stop wearing those things). Tonight, what I saw when I knocked you down… I thought you seemed lonely, like you needed peace… a distraction, just for one night at least. I could give you that, and I was so happy to be able to.

You and I… it’s like we live our lives detached from ourselves, you know? We’ve sworn to always put ourselves second, to always put our wants and needs after Theirs. People like us don’t get to have courtships and pretty romances. There are no sweet declarations of growing old together, holding hands under the cherry blossoms for us, because we accepted long ago that we would give our lives, without thought or hesitation, to protect Them. We never get happily-ever-afters, since no proper lover could ever accept the depths of our devotion to Them. But still, under all the guns and knives and scars and inexorable responsibilities… still, we’re human, aren’t we? With human hearts and human needs.

I’m rambling, I think. I guess what I’m trying to say is… If you don’t ever want what happened tonight to come up again, it doesn’t have to. I won’t press the issue or even talk about it. Even a one-night-stand with you is more than I had ever dreamed of, and it was everything I hoped it would be.

But if you’re not super pissed and/or offended, I would love to spar again sometime! ^_~

<3 Totchi

 

P.S. I brought you some dinner to make up for all the electrolytes you spent tonight!-

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**June 7 th \- 2:00 am**

Anyone else would have slept through the sound; it was so soft and unobtrusive. Just a faint whisper of sound trickling through thin walls and still, muggy air. But it was enough to wake Die, and immediately he was sliding out of bed, bare feet touching silently to the plush flooring. He moved with the barest hint of a limp out of his room and across the spacious living area. Coming to a stop beside the other bedroom, he opened this door with a careful hand, peering inside.

Kyo was curled up in the center of his and Kaoru’s large bed, looking impossibly small in the expanse of rumpled sheets and blankets. His face was twisted with pain and fear, deep lines marring the usual smooth roundness of his features, and he was whimpering into the pillow he clutched desperately to his chest. Every muscle on the compact body was straining, thrown into sharp relief by a sheen of sweat as the blonde spiraled deeper and deeper into his nightmares.

“Nnnh…! No…” the voice came, soft and shaky.

Die bit his lip and stepped inside carefully. “Kyo…”

Kyo jerked, but didn’t wake. His head snapped to one side, face almost entirely hidden in the pillow as a low, painful croon poured out of his throat. “No… nnn… Kaoru! ...ple-… please, no…”

“Kyo, wake up,” Die called softly as his knees bumped against the edge of the mattress. “Wake up, buddy, it’s just a dream. Come on…”

“Nnn!” The blonde coiled tighter and tighter. “Ahanh!”

Die reached out one hand and touched his friend’s shoulder gently. Kyo’s eyes shot open, his body snapping out like a spring released. He reeled back at first, then lurched forward, a desperate fist lashing out at Die even as he screamed. It was a raw, terrible sound that shook the redhead to the core, and he was too startled to block or dodge the clumsy punch coming at him. He took a glancing blow to the jaw before he caught the extended arm, and he immediately had to catch another shot from the blonde’s other fist. The wrists trembled terribly, and Die was worried if he held on too tight, the bones within would snap like bird wings. The redhead knelt on the bed, trying to restrain the blonde without further scaring him.

“Kyo, it’s me, it’s just me! It’s Die!” he called, fighting to keep his voice gentle.

Eyes wide and rolling wildly, panting roughly, Kyo stared at him without recognition for a long time before he blinked against restrained tears. “D-… Die?”

Die breathed a sigh of relief and loosened his grip. “Aa, just me.”

Kyo jerked his arms free, then threw them around Die’s waist and clung to him, pressing his face into the redhead’s broad chest. He was shaking badly, inked skin slick with fear-sweat.

“Shh, hey, it’ll be okay. You’re safe now, safe at home,” Die whispered.

“Gods, Die it was-… it wasn’t the same… it was-… gods, Die, it was Kaoru… he was hurting Kaoru and I just can’t-… I don’t understand!” Kyo sobbed angrily. "How could this happen?"

Die closed his eyes and held the younger man close, resting his cheek against soft blond hair. “I’m sorry, Kyo. I failed you both, letting this happen, I… I’m so sorry.”

“I can’t lose him, Die, I just can’t. My Kaoru…”

“Don’t talk like that, we’ll find him, you know we will. Everything will be okay…”

They both knew Die was full of shit. It was a very real possibility at this point that Kaoru was dead, the Niikura family doomed with him, and they were living out the last days of their lives as they knew them. But as long as things were ambiguous enough for some glimmer of hope to remain, they would cling to it, taking comfort from the reassuring words in spite of their emptiness. Kyo took several deep, steadying breaths and nudged his nose harder against Die’s chest, appreciative of the company. There was a moment of quiet, before the blonde’s soft, watery chuckle broke the silence and the aching tension simultaneously.

“Die… you’re so naked…” he murmured with a sniffle.

Die blinked and took stock of his current condition and laughed a bit as well, embarrassed. He had gone to bed completely nude, his bedroom too warm for even the thin layer of cloth he typically slept in. “I guess I am. Sorry, I’m used to sleeping in my boxers so I never checked when I woke up…”

“Heh… it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever woken up to, I guess.”

Die smirked a bit, but his smile faded quickly. Kyo was still shaking horribly, but he could feel the blonde trying to pull himself together enough to push him away, to tell him to leave. Kaoru’s beloved phoenix had burned himself out and a fledgling was stirring in the ashes, determined to burn brightly once more, but in this frail transitive stage, Die felt that Kyo needed support while he built up his strength. The younger man was stubbornly proud at the worst times, even around Die, who had seen him through one of the roughest times of his life. He couldn’t leave his little friend to suffer alone, but Kyo wasn’t likely to accept an offer of an overnight guardian.

“Hey, Kyo?” the redhead whispered carefully.

“Un?” Kyo grunted, his breath a soft puff against Die’s bare chest.

“I’m… still worried about my head. From the concussion, you know… I’m worried I pushed myself too far today.”

One burnt gold eye peered up, frowning worriedly. “Do you need to see a doctor?”

“No, no, I should be okay, but… just in case, do you think I could stay with you tonight? You know, so you can make sure I sleep okay?”

Kyo sat back a little to look up into the older man’s face properly. Die really was a terrible liar when he couldn’t hide behind his glasses. Those soft brown eyes were overflowing with protective concern, and he didn’t believe for a second that the redhead was worried in the slightest for his own head injury, if he was still injured at all. But his proposal _did_ spare Kyo’s ego, while still allowing him to enjoy the deeply profound security that one couldn’t help but feel in his company. It was difficult to be afraid of anything when Die was around.

“Sure, you can stay here. I’ll keep an eye on you.” Kyo nodded his consent to the charade.

Die smiled and moved around to situate himself more comfortably, his back propped against the headboard and a thin sheet pulled up to his hips to cover his nudity. Kyo settled shamelessly into the redhead’s lap, head pillowed against a hard stomach, one hand resting on a long thigh. The blonde couldn’t contain a faint, content sigh as strong arms tugged up a blanket and settled around him, and Die felt a little of his anxiety bleed away now that he had someoneto watch over. The soft music that Kyo never slept without filled the comfortable silence that stretched between them for some time, before the blonde stirred a bit, frowning.

“Hey… Die?”

“Mmm?” The redhead was already drifting off.

Kyo bit his lip, hesitant for a moment before asking, “You’re… straight, aren‘t you?”

“You’ve asked me that before, remember?”

“Yeah, but you never _really_ answered, and I’m pretty sure you just slept with Toshiya. And I sincerely doubt that he drugged you. Not that I would put it past him, but I don’t really see you allowing that kind of thing. So…”

Die smiled to himself and said nothing.

Kyo frowned and tilted his head back to look up at the redhead. “So you’re… not straight, are you?”

“I guess in practice, no, I’m not. To be honest, I don’t have much preference either way.”

“Why do you always say that you are? You’re too old to still be in the closet, Die, and it’s not like any of _us_ are going to judge you!”

“It’s kind of a long story. Do you really want to know?”

“Yes! I won’t be able to sleep now, if you don’t tell me.”

Die sighed and shifted a little to make himself more comfortable. “Where do I start… mm… Well, you know that Kaoru and I grew up together, right? From the day I was born, I was meant to be his Second.”

Kyo nodded.

“Well, even if the plan was always for Kaoru to take over the family and me to go with him, it wasn’t really a guarantee. He had to earn the right to take over when Tomohiro left, and I had to earn the right to stand at his side. So when I was younger, part of my training included working with the family’s security enforcers, and going on odd jobs or missions that the older guys weren’t as well suited to. One of those missions was going undercover in a club hosting flesh auctions for pedophiles being held in Tomohiro’s territory without his permission. The man in charge was running a couple of the family’s other brothels, but he kept lying about the one peddling children, so I was sent in to eliminate him. It took about a month before he showed up.”

“How old were you?” Kyo asked, curious. He supposed someone else might have felt sorry for Die, or been disgusted at a child being used that way by his own family. But after so much time spent in this business, in this world, it took a bit to truly horrify him.

“Fourteen. I’m sure you can imagine, I lost my virginity while I was there. After I came back, as soon as Kaoru and I were alone, he asked me about it. We were teenage boys, you know? As disgusting and mercenary as it all had been, it was still _sex_ , and he was still curious. I told him everything. How very few of the people that ‘won’ me for the evening were ever interested in my pleasure, but the ones that were _…_ well, one thing led to another…” Die’s voice trailed off suggestively.

“Wait… are you saying… you and Kaoru?!”

“Mmhmm. Twice, that night, so he could try it both ways. I think I’m still the only man that’s ever topped him. It was a little weird – we’re more like brothers than anything else, you know? – and we never touched each other that way again, but I’ve never regretted it. My virginity was taken by so many strangers, in service of my family, but his was taken by someone that cares about him.”

Kyo stared at the ceiling, a stunned look on his face as he poured over the new information and tried to reconcile it with what he thought he’d known before. “So… that’s a little fucked up, but what does it have to do with you pretending you’re straight?”

“Well, again, we were teenage boys. We were kind of noisy, and one of the cleaning staff heard us through the door. She went running to Kaoru’s father and told him Kao was fooling around with another boy, and he was pissed. His mom tried to stop him, and we could hear them arguing down the hall, so I snuck out before they could catch us. Of course, they still thought it was me, but they didn’t have any proof, and Kaoru lied his ass off. He made up some story about a guy from school, I think?”

“Why lie? I never thought the Niikuras would be so… conservative.”

“Oh, they’re not. They weren’t thrilled that Kao was bisexual, but it wasn’t really that important. But he can’t have a relationship with _me_. He has to be able to sacrifice me for the sake of the family, and he can’t do that if we’re romantically involved. We lied so they wouldn’t separate us. They didn’t really believe him, and neither did his uncle or my father when they found out the next day. They watched us for a long time; we were chaperoned or spied on constantly. So since Kaoru was already out, I pretended to be straight. It went on for so long, I guess it just became a habit to say that I was. It’s not like I date that much anyway.”

It made sense. Kyo supposed it shouldn’t be all that shocking to know that Kaoru and Die had fooled around once as teenagers, or that they’d had to hide it from their parents. Still, “…That’s fucked up, Die.”

"Heh… tell me about it."

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**June 7 th \- 9:00 am**

 “I can’t do this.”

Die sighed, running one hand through his hair. By his count, that was the fifth time Kyo had uttered those exact words this morning, and they’d been up for less than two hours. His younger friend stood in the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror with an expression strangely akin to desperation. Blonde hair usually spiked or left loose was carefully tamed back with subtle pins behind his ears, and burnt gold eyes were shielded behind wire-framed glasses. Back in the trappings of his former life – a finely-tailored suit of pressed charcoal wool – Kyo fumbled with a red silk tie with shaking hands. Die batted long fingers out of the way and took the smooth material between his own, though he knew the accessory wasn’t the source of Kyo’s frustration.

“You’ll do just fine,” the redhead murmured, pulling the red fabric through a familiar series of loops.

The shorter man whined, “Why can’t we just cancel this meeting like all the other ones? I can’t _do_ this!”

“Meetings with tributaries are very important to Kaoru, you know that and so do they. He would never cancel one except under dire circumstances, and it would be awfully suspicious to do so now at the last minute. We can’t have anyone – especially someone who already holds a grudge against the family – knowing that he’s gone missing,” Die explained patiently, though the words made his heart ache.

“But they’ll know he’s gone if I show up! Anyways, you’re his Second, you should go!”

Die sighed, smoothing Kyo’s tie into place with a gentle hand before buttoning the younger man’s jacket. “You and I are equal rank, but I’m just a bodyguard; I don’t know anything about the finances or logistics of running a company.”

“What about Shinya? Shinya loves meetings!”

“And let Ran Tetsuya know that the Terachi family is allied with the Niikura? Don’t be ridiculous. Kyo, you know what Kaoru wants from his tributaries, and it’s not like this is Tetsuya’s first meeting. It’s just a check-in. You’re Kao’s advisor; he would want you to do this. He would _trust_ you to do this for the family in his absence.”

“…You’re a manipulative prick, you know that?” Kyo hissed.

Die smiled. “I learned from the best. Now get your computer and let’s go before we’re late.”

The redhead watched with a touch of pride and not even the slightest bit of envy as his little friend took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and led the way out of the room, heading to the elevator to go downstairs. He certainly wouldn’t be caught dead trying to fill Kaoru’s shoes, even for something so simple as a tributary meeting. By all accounts, he was shocked he even managed to get Kyo back into one of his old suits, let alone to agree to conduct the meeting, and he admired the younger man’s courage. But he would provide as much support to the blonde as he could, and hopefully this unpleasant bit of business could be dealt with quickly and they could get back to work looking for their boss.

“Just remember… this is for Kaoru,” Die whispered gently when they stepped out onto a lower floor. “We have to keep everything running smoothly for… for when he gets back.”

Kyo steeled himself, eyes and face gone stone cold despite the tremors the redhead could feel running through his younger friend. “Aa. For Kaoru.”

Ran Tetsuya was already waiting when they arrived in the conference room, and he was halfway to his feet to bow before he caught sight of Kyo. He frowned, his thick face folding into an unattractive scowl. “What’s this? Where is Niikura?”

Die pulled out a chair for Kyo across the table from the older man. His eyes narrowed a bit behind his glasses. Typically, tributaries were not supposed to bring their bodyguards into these meetings. To leave one’s personal security outside was a gesture of submission and dependence, forcing the Heads of the families to rely on Kaoru’s good will for the duration of the visit. The rule was not set in stone, though, and Ran frequently broke it, to Die’s irritation. Today was no exception; Seizo Hirano sat as always at his master’s right hand.

It was possible he came in an administrative capacity, though. He was seated, rather than standing at his boss’ shoulder where he should be, and a thin metal briefcase rested on the table in front of him. But Die was unnerved by the way Ran’s Second was eyeing Kyo with an over-curious gaze, and the man began to flip through papers in the briefcase as unobtrusively as possible. There was a glint in his eye that looked like recognition, and that was a deeply troubling possibility. Die took his place standing at Kyo’s shoulder and folded his arms carefully behind his back, on edge and ready to draw his gun at the slightest provocation.

Kyo plowed ahead, unaware of the unsettling development. “Mr. Niikura is unable to meet with you today, and has asked me to see you in his place.”

“He would have me do business with a messenger boy?” Ran growled. “This is a most grievous disrespect! Just because I pay tribute to his family doesn't mean that I will tolerate being insulted in such a manner. Exactly who are you supposed to be?”

“My name is Kyo Nishimura. I am Mr. Niikura’s advisor. Your arrangement-…” Kyo frowned a little when Ran’s Second ducked his head, shoulders shaking just a little. He felt Die tense a bit behind him, but fought to maintain his composure. “Your arrangement with this family has been in place for a few years now, and he felt that with other pressing matters to attend to-”

 _“Advisor_ _?”_ Seizo sputtered, his laughter finally breaking free. “That’s what you’re calling yourself?”

Kyo’s mouth shut with an audible snap and he sat ramrod-straight in his seat, eyes narrow. Ran looked to his Second with a confused scowl, and Seizo slid a thin file folder to his boss’s waiting hands. Die’s hands clenched behind his back; this was not going well. He wanted desperately to know what was in that file, what Seizo knew of Kyo.

Ran huffed, his face settling into a wry smirk as he threw the open file onto the table carelessly. “I see. I don’t know if I should be flattered that Kaoru sent a concubine to meet with me, or disappointed that he picked one so plain.”

It took everything Die had to keep his face straight when he saw the file’s contents. A large, glossy photo – in crisp, color focus – taken with what had to be a camera fitted with a phenomenal zoom. There was no other way anyone could have gotten so close to Kaoru without Die seeing them, to have gotten such a clear, detailed image.

The Head of the Niikura family was shown seated in a comfortable, cushioned booth at some indistinguishable club, leaning back with an indulgent grin. He had a maraschino cherry stem between his teeth, the bright red fruit resting lightly against his bottom lip. Kyo was leaning over him, crawling on the table Kaoru was seated at, a clever pink tongue snaking out and just beginning to curl around the cherry his lover held. As usual, Kaoru was in a crisp grey suit, and Kyo was in a light, fitted tank top and skin-tight jeans, and the blonde had the older man’s tie wound between the fingers of one hand.

“Tell your master I appreciate the sentiment, but I have no interest for whores in suits,” Ran announced, standing to leave. “If he hasn’t the time to meet with me today, he’ll have to wait to get his payment next month.”

Die looked from Ran and Seizo – walking away with amused smirks and cocky strides – to Kyo, whose fingers were white as they gripped the table, dark gold eyes locked on the damning photograph. It had taken everything the blonde had to summon up the willpower to attend this meeting in Kaoru’s place, so strong was his grief for his lover’s absence and his respect for the man’s authority. And now, he was being mocked, his love denigrated with crude words, evidence of the violation of a private moment flung in his face like a cheap tabloid. He reached up one hand to touch Die’s arm lightly, then gestured at the other men.

The redhead moved with shocking speed, coming to stand between their two “guests” and the door. He had gone, as per his preference, largely unnoticed so far, but Ran and Seizo were forced to acknowledge him when he came to block the only exit. Standing almost a head over the tallest of them, he knew he was an intimidating figure, and he squared himself off to enhance that effect. One hand rested warningly over the grip of his gun, fingertips just barely brushing over cold steel.

Ran eyed Die nervously, cowing just a touch under the menace the younger man exuded. “Andou… What are you-”

“You forget your place, Tetsuya,” Kyo warned coolly, sitting back in his seat with forced calm. “You pay tribute to this family because, at the slightest whim, we can crush you, remember? You overstepped your bounds and we showed you mercy, and we will continue to do so only for as long as you are willing to play by our rules. So if Mr. Niikura asks you to do business with a whore in a suit, you will do business with a whore in a suit, or you will never do business again. Do I make myself clear?”

There was a long silence, and Die raised an eyebrow threateningly. Ran paled a bit and turned to return to the table, furious for his own complacency. Seizo followed obediently, but he did little to hide a disgusted sneer at the situation.

“Yes… yes of course, perfectly clear,” Ran murmured, sliding back into his seat.

Die breathed a softly relieved sigh, proud of his little friend. He knew Kaoru would have been too, if he had been present to see how the blonde had kept his composure. They would keep things together, for him. It was hard, and it would only get harder the longer it took to find him, but when he got home, the family business that he loved so dearly would be just as he left it.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**June 10 th \- 11:00 pm**

Die paced his room restlessly. Five days – five _goddamn_ days – Kaoru had been missing, and still no clue to his whereabouts. Every day, they received a stark white envelope with his and Kyo’s names printed in that crisp, black writing. Every day they opened it to find stacks of glossy photographs of Kaoru, his body more broken and abused with each passing day. Welts, cuts, burns, and deep, nasty bruises littered his flesh until he was an unrecognizable paragon of suffering, thin and too battered to hold himself up anymore. But still, they were no closer to discovering his kidnapper or location.

Helplessness tore at Die’s gut, guilt pressed down on his shoulders, indignant fury flowed through his veins. He couldn’t sleep, not with today’s photos burnt so firmly in his mind. Kaoru, curled up on a dirty stone floor, clutching his wrist below three obviously-broken fingers. Though his friend’s eyes were obscured by a tight blindfold – as they had been in all the pictures – he could see the desperate anguish on the man’s face. Kaoru was barely hanging on to himself, and Die was beginning to wonder if there would be anything left of his friend by the time they found him, if they ever did.

Shaking his head against the pervasive image, he stripped out of his suit, changing into loose shorts and a tank top. Gathering a pair of fingerless gloves, he stalked out of his room with a silent, purposeful stride. Kyo was not in his room tonight, probably pulling another all-nighter with Shinya. He wasn’t needed here. He punched the button next to the elevator and rode down to one of the lowest floors with crossed arms and a tapping foot. The lights that met him when the doors opened gave him pause; he wasn’t expecting anyone else to be using the exercise facilities so late at night. Curious eyes scanned over machines, weight racks, open doors to the ball court and the sparring room. Everything was silent and still, even the shower room and saunas. He found what he was looking for when he came to the windows overlooking the pool. His eyes narrowed just a sliver.

Long, powerful limbs moved to propel a slender body through the water with impossible grace. An outstretched hand touched against the tile wall of the pool and that willowy body contracted, diving, spinning and rolling in one practiced motion to begin swimming in the opposite direction. Glossy black hair hung heavy and wet against one side of a flushed face, curving lovingly around dark goggles and flowing in writhing tendrils whenever it was submerged.

_‘-I would love to spar again sometime.-’_

Toshiya, true to his word, have betrayed not so much as a hint of their tryst. Kyo knew, of course; he’d known Toshiya far too intimately for far too long to not recognize the languid, post-coital satiation the younger man exuded. And of course, he’d known of the man’s crush on Die since its infancy, so it wasn’t hard to put one and one together and come to the proper, vulgar conclusion. And what Kyo knew, Shinya generally knew as well. So though the four of them spent almost all of their time together, and all of them knew Toshiya and Die had had sex, no one spoke of it, and the event quickly faded from everyone’s minds in the wake of more important worries.

Everyone _else’s_ minds, anyway. Die still wondered about it, in quieter moments when worrying about Kaoru was simply too frustrating and painful. What were Toshiya’s intentions that night, really? He’d said in his note that he’d made his move because Die needed a distraction, but everyone knew the younger man had been lusting after his superior for years now. Was it just a sexual conquest that proved a more interesting challenge as time went by? Or did he actually want something more from Die, as that damnable note had hinted at? Beyond that, which did _Die_ want?

Die had come down to the gym with every intention of venting his frustrations on a heavy bag, but seeing Toshiya’s lithe body, sleek and powerful, he found himself craving a different form of catharsis. His legs starting moving even before his mind made itself up, stepping through the glass and steel door into the slightly muggy, clean air of the pool room. He slipped off his sandals and padded barefoot across the rough tiles to the shallower end of the pool, settling down on the edge with his legs sinking into the cool water. When Toshiya’s hand reached out to touch the wall and met smooth, firm flesh instead, he slowed to a stop, head coming up as legs sank to settle on the bottom. Clear water lapped gently around broad shoulders with soft splashing sounds that echoed faintly in the large, empty room.

Light flashed off of the goggles, blocking the younger man’s eyes from Die’s view as he tilted his head curiously. “Die?”

“Hey, Toshiya.”

There was a long, heavy silence as the two men sized one another up, and a silent understanding was reached. Die leaned down, carefully drawing the goggles up and off of the younger man’s face. Slowly, languidly, he bent down to nudge his nose lightly against Toshiya’s, nuzzling briefly before pushing further down. Their mouths met, lips parting and tongues entwining with startling ease and something that felt like familiarity. Toshiya rested his hands against leanly muscled thighs, sliding them up over narrow hips to grip the redhead’s waist and draw him slowly into the water.

There was a brief, fleeting struggle for dominance, but Die quickly conceded the issue, arms twining around Toshiya’s broad shoulders as he was pressed into the cool tile wall. He tangled his fingers through glossy black hair, long legs hitching up around narrow hips and he rocked his groin shamelessly against the younger man’s. One of Toshiya’s hands supported his weight with a groping, squeezing pressure against his ass, the other braced against the wall.

They parted for air and Die nudged this time against Toshiya’s ear, his voice just a touch more breathy than usual. “You would let me use you?”

“Always. People like you and me… we’re meant to be used, are we not?” Toshiya purred.

“We can’t… we couldn’t have a relationship, you know. We can’t be any more than _this_. There’s no room in our lives for it.” Die sounded almost regretful.

“Don’t be ridiculous. If you just wanted to fuck every now and again, you need only say the word. You know I’m good for it,” Toshiya chided, running the tip of his tongue along the edge of the older man’s ear. “But we could be so much more. Our love would be like summer squalls; all sudden and crazy and perfect, even if we have to wake up every morning to lonely, cloudless skies.”

“And if I can’t love you? If there’s no room in my heart for anyone but Kaoru?”

“As if. You’ve already fallen for me, even if you don’t know it yet. But if you can’t accept that, then yes, I’m fine with being used by you. From the moment I first saw those gorgeous eyes, I knew I’d let you do whatever you wanted with me and cherish every moment of it.”

Die felt a heady flush at both the compliment and the confident declaration that came before it. The brief, almost-romantic spell was broken by Die’s shirt being yanked up over his head, and four deft hands were spurred into a flurry of motion, pulling at thin shorts and discarding them. Cool water flowed over heated flesh followed by curious, exploring fingers. Scars earned over years of guard duty – the physical proof of their devotion to other men – were kissed, caressed, and loved with the reverence only one in their position could share. Toshiya’s long fingers pressed against and past a yielding pucker, one by one, stretching sensitive flesh and pushing further and further in before brushing over the place that made Die throw his head back with an indulgent groan.

“ _Gods_ quit dicking around and just fuck me already,” Die moaned, tugging insistently at Toshiya’s raven hair. “I’m plenty loose enough for you, I promise.”

Toshiya couldn’t resist a throaty chuckle as he obliged, replacing his fingers with his own aching arousal, tearing indulgent groans from both men. Despite Die’s assurances, he was still impossibly tight, and Toshiya rolled his hips to press deeper and deeper into the older man. Die sank his teeth into a strong shoulder, grunting with each thrust, rubbing his erection against Toshiya’s taut belly to distract himself from the stringing stretch. He’d earned that pain with his own impatience, and he savored it just as much as he would the pleasure soon to come.

Once fully sheathed, Toshiya paused for a moment to catch his breath, nipping lightly at Die’s lower lip when the other released his shoulder to breathe. The older man responded with a deep, needy kiss, and Toshiya accepted the cue to start moving. The squall was on them now, and they both embraced the storm eagerly. Hips rocked and bucked powerfully, hands stroked and grabbed with enough force to bruise, mouths licked and sucked with contrary tenderness. Toshiya’s slender hand came between them to grip Die’s arousal, pumping as he thrust ever deeper into the intoxicating heat.

Die did nothing to hold himself back, pushing forward into that tightly gripping hand, then down against the insistent penetration with reckless abandon. Long fingers dug blunt nails across the smooth skin of Toshiya’s back, leaving faint pink marks. With a resounding cry, body twisting into a sinful arch, Die hit his climax, releasing his seed into the gently-flowing water sliding past them. Toshiya hitched the older man’s legs higher up, forcing the redhead to grip the edge of the pool to keep from going under as he thrust wildly into the spent body. Die hung languidly from the tile wall, head lolling back as he was rocked back and forth until he felt liquid heat splash through his insides. Toshiya slumped forward contentedly to rest against his new lover, tongue flicking lazily over the older man’s throat as his lips curved into a sly smile.

“My promise to let this pass only applied to that last time, you know. I’ll be discrete, of course, but… you’ll never be rid of me, now.”

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**June [ ] th \- [ ]:[ ] pm**

_Two young men rested on their knees, resplendent in the finest hand-tailored suits. Between them, on a lacquered wooden tray, rested a flawless white stone sake pot bearing the Niikura family crest, and three matching shallow bowls stacked with the largest on the bottom and the smallest on top. One, shorter than his younger companion, with glossy black hair falling in feathery wisps around hawkish features, took three sips of sake from the smallest dish before setting it back down. A lovely woman dressed in all the quiet fineries of a priestess refilled the dish with three graceful pouring motions of the stone pot. The taller man, blood-red hair gathered back into a loose ponytail to expose an angular face and cat-like eyes, accepted the bowl and drained the alcohol with three sips of his own. The process was repeated twice more, from the medium and large dishes in turn._

_The dishes were removed, and the surrounding crowd erupted into raucous cheers as the morning’s long ceremonies finally came to a close, beer and sake bottles popping open all through the room. The newest Head of the Niikura family had been named, and now his best friend had taken the oaths to be his Second in Command. A clamor of rowdy voices flooded the room as the celebrations kicked off with food, booze, cards, and women in abundance, the two young men who had been the center of attention now all-but-forgotten._

_Without the pressures of ceremony and attention on him, the redhead bowed his head to his older friend, one hand pressed over his heart. A design reminiscent of reptile scales swept across the back of that hand, the edges still red from the recent touch of the needle, the thick scar underneath incorporated almost seamlessly into the pattern. For all the pretty words he’d spoken and time-honored rituals he’d performed today, this was his true oath to Kaoru, offered silently and sincerely._

_Kaoru felt a flush come over him, predatory eyes going near-black as a sense of pure power flooded his veins. Daisuke Andou would never bow like this to any other man, only to him. Those powerful shoulders, deft hands, the sharp mind behind clever eyes, and unwavering loyalty supported by well-honed skills all belonged to him. He alone commanded this powerful creature._

_When Die’s head rose from the deep bow, he caught the look in his best friend’s eyes and answered with a smirk, his eyes bright with devotion. When he spoke, his voice was too low to be heard by anyone else in the room._

_“I’m yours to command. Say the word, Kaoru, and I’ll hand you the world.”_

Kaoru focused on the memory of that feeling – when he had been powerful, invincible, untouchable, always in control – but his ability to access that heady rush was draining out of him rapidly as time went by in this place. How much time had passed? Days? Weeks? He had no way of knowing. Curled in the corner of a bare cement room, nude but for his own dried blood and a blindfold, time had slowed to a steady haze of misery and pain.

Nearby, leather boots creaked, and a soft _~whir, beep, CLICK~_ could be heard echoing in the small room. His only response was to tighten the grip of his arms around his legs, shielding as much of himself from view as possible, despite the stark futility of the gesture. He’d lost track of the number of photos his captor had taken of him in the time he’d been here. But he knew what the photos were for; the master of this place had told him many times whose benefit his torture was for. He refused, with the last shred of dignity and resolution that he had, to help the bastard hurt his best friend and his lover any more than he already had.

“Don’t you look so lovely, bruised and defeated like that? Like a hawk with broken wings. Ahhh, this room, with you… it’s almost like paradise, definitely worth the months and months of preparations. Although your screams aren’t as decadent as _his_ were… no, your voice gives out too quickly. Do you think I should tell them that? Should I tell them how quickly you learn? You only tried for that blindfold three times… I was expecting to run out of fingers before you gave up.”

The temptation to remove his blindfold _was_ strong, almost overpowering, but the steady ache of three broken fingers stayed his hand. One snapped like a twig for every attempt he’d made to remove the cloth. On the third try, he’d caught a fleeting glance at the master of this place before he was punished; a massive figure, towering and powerfully built, wearing a dark red hannya mask with bulging eyes and a wicked grin. The voice emanating from that mask was cruel and mocking, and carried with it the bite of unidentifiable familiarity.

“Mmm, but maybe still photos aren’t enough. They still haven’t found us here, after all this time. I’m almost disappointed! I was expecting so much more from the infamous Prophet and the youngest Andou… they must need more motivation. Perhaps I should take a video, what do you think?” _~beep, beep, whirrrrr…~_ “I’ll even give you a choice this time. I could bend you over the table and mount you like a bitch, or we could play some more with the needles.”

Kaoru’s body shuddered at even the passing thought of the Needles. Syringes loaded with a vicious toxin that raced through his veins like acid, lighting every nerve in his body with agony. Every centimeter of his skin burned, his muscles convulsed, his joints locked up and nothing he did could do anything to quell the pain. He would scream until his voice was gone, his blindfold would catch relentless tears – an incongruous friend to hide his shame in a weak moment – and he would claw at the cement floor he writhed against in a vain attempt to escape, but nothing existed beyond the pain.

Kaoru was never trained to withstand torture. It was never his place; people in his position in this wicked underworld simply were not treated this way, even by their worst enemies. Though perhaps even if he had undergone such training, it would have done little to prepare him for the anguish inflicted by his captor’s precious Needles. By his own admission, the man had spent a couple of years developing the toxin, testing it on people he picked up off the streets. Those who had survived were tortured into harried obedience, forming a small army of men who wished for nothing so much as their own deaths. Nothing else like it existed in the world, that he knew of.

“Choose, Niikura.”

“I-…” Kaoru’s voice cracked tiredly, nothing coming out after but silent breath.

“I’m sorry, what was that? I’m afraid I can’t hear you. If you won’t pick for yourself, I suppose can just do both. Fuck you raw while your insides wither and burn. I bet you’re so damned _tight_ when you scream like that… mmm, it’s a tempting thought.”

Kaoru’s face contorted with frustrated panic as he tried to reclaim his voice. As much as the thought of that horrid venom made his stomach twist and quiver, he couldn’t let the two people he cared for most see him violated over a cheap wooden table. Die; his best friend, his lifelong partner, the blood-red tiger who followed always at his side, ready to defend his life at any cost. Kyo; his lover, his advisor, the brilliant phoenix with burning eyes, boundless passion, and a voice that shook the heavens themselves.

“Well if you won’t choose, we get to do it my way. What fun!”

_‘No… please, no…’_

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**June 15 th \- 10:00 am**

 “No… please, no…” Kyo’s voice was a weak, trembling thing, hands coming up to clutch at his own hair, pulling several golden strands free.

Die had recognized the voice and the body of Kaoru’s captor as well, and looked sick for the knowledge they’d been fighting to obtain for the past nearly two weeks. “Hideki Yuji.”

“Shit…” Toshiya swore softly, eyes watering as one hand came up to press against his quivering lips.

Shinya couldn’t bring himself to speak, horrified, as they all were, at the video playing on the large projection screen in the conference room.

The sight of their boss and friend, bent over a rough wooden table, mouth open in a voiceless scream, was a painful one. Kaoru struggled weakly, broken fingers fighting to claw into the wood for leverage as his good hand was restrained by a much larger one. The thin needle of a syringe was pressed into the muscle of his upper arm and the plunger slowly depressed. The effects were almost immediate as Kaoru’s thin, battered body went into hysterical convulsions. He was held in place by the man in the hannya mask, large hands pinning his hips against the wood as his legs were kicked apart and-

“NO!” Kyo screamed, picking up a chair and flinging it at the image. The screen was knocked off its mounting and crumpled to the floor in a soft heap, but the projector continued to play unhindered, shining merrily on the wall instead. “NONONONONO! It’s him, it’s HIM, why did it have to be him of all people?! FUCK! This can’t be happening, it can’t… I can’t…”

Shinya wrapped his arms around his best friend gently, turning his back on the horrible film and blocking Kyo’s view of it. He knew of Hideki, of course. He’d even spoken to the man once, while awaiting his first meeting with Kaoru in the Niikura tower holding cells; had heard every sordid detail of what the Niikura family’s interrogator had done to Kyo. Hideki had spent nearly a year in those holding cells – punishment for breeching protocol by sneaking into Kyo's cell and raping him while the blonde was in captivity – only let out to conduct carefully monitored interrogations, and was kept chemically castrated for that time. Eventually, Kaoru decided his presence in the tower was too hard on Kyo, and had ordered him cut loose. As part of the Niikura family security forces, he fell under Die’s direct command, and the redhead had been the one to implement all of the man’s punishments.

In retrospect, it should have been obvious. Plenty of people knew both Kyo and Die at this point, but few had ever found reason to hate either of them, fewer still who would have blamed them for a slight without blaming Kaoru as well. But it had been so long ago, had happened so quietly in the midst of the turmoil that was the early stages of Kaoru and Kyo’s relationship and the acquisition of the Terachi family as tributary. Hideki’s departure had been bitter, to be certain, but there had been no threats, no arguments, no indication that he would hold onto it so hard and come back this way, and so he’d gone all-but forgotten, relegated to the shadowy figure that haunted Kyo’s nightmares.

 “That son of a _bitch!”_ Die hissed. “I should have killed him when I had the chance!”

Shinya shot Die a worried look. The redhead was pacing furiously, one hand periodically flicking back to hover restlessly over where his gun was tucked against one side. Toshiya watched his superior helplessly; though Shinya and Kyo both knew of his “relationship” with Die, it wasn’t something that had been brought up openly. He wanted to hold his lover, to give him comfort, but he couldn’t break the invisible wall of propriety between them without the older man’s permission.

Kyo tore away from Shinya, glaring at Die with panicked betrayal. “He’s gone, he’s supposed to be _gone_ , you fired him two years ago! Why come back now, after all this time?!”

“Don’t worry about why.” Shinya scolded gently. “If we know who he is, do we know _where_ he is? We have new information now; this is what we’ve been looking for. We need to use it and end this.”

Die’s answering chuckle held just a hint of madness, hysteria bubbling quietly under his skin, as he pulled out his phone and shook it at Shinya. “I still have his _cell phone number!_ Should I give him a call?! ‘Hey Yuji, what’s up, long time no see! Say, you wouldn’t happen to be TORTURING MY BOSS RIGHT NOW, WOULD YOU?!’”

“Why not?” Toshiya asked gently.

Die’s mouth opened to retort, but nothing came out and his glare faded to confusion as he looked at his phone. Why not, indeed? Besides the mask, Hideki had done nothing to disguise his identity; he had to have known Die and Kyo would recognize his voice. Die had worked with the man for years; he knew Hideki was mad, but not stupid. He had specifically chosen now to reveal his identity, signaling a change in his twisted game. It was a taunt, an invitation. The bastard wanted to parley.

“I… I guess it’s the next logical step, isn‘t it?” the redhead murmured, frowning.

“He’s already told us his goal is to hurt you and Kyo,” Shinya warned, one hand resting lightly on Die’s forearm. “Maybe I should-”

“No.” Die shook his head, flicking his thumb over the phone’s screen until he found the number he sought, pressing the call button decisively. “No, I need to do this. I know how to deal with him.”

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

**June [ ] th \- [ ]:[ ] pm**

_The private room of the exclusive restaurant was beautifully appointed, with plush booth seats and a round wooden table polished to a glossy lacquered shine. The dishes were all the finest porcelain, and the half-dozen courses of food presented on those dishes had been as delicious as they were artfully arranged. The light from the elegant chandelier overhead was soft and lent just the faintest air of intimacy, while still too bright for any sort of forced romanticism. Music danced softly in the air, unobtrusively lovely, serene. Even the security guard standing in the corner of the room nearest the door was perfectly posed in a watchful stance, his black suit pressed and flawless._

_Bawdy laughter and heavy beer glasses slamming onto the refined table top spoiled the sophisticated aesthetics of the room, but none of its occupants minded in the least. Today was one of celebration, after all, and none of them were all that concerned with propriety in present company. Brightly colored paper littered the room in ragged shreds, three small piles of gifts collected lovingly on the table top, mostly ignored now for the spectacle developing in the open part of the room._

_Die strummed at his acoustic guitar, skilled hands rarely faltering despite his fairly severe level of intoxication. Kyo sang cheerfully along with his music, shrieking laughter interrupting his song as Toshiya picked him up and swung him around wildly in a drunken dance. Tucked into the back curve of the booth, Shinya and Kaoru exchanged long-suffering looks and chuckled softly over their beers._

_“Saaa, Daisuke! We got- we’ve got- to go get the thing!” Toshiya demanded suddenly, setting Kyo down on the table with a small crash._

_“Shit, Totchi! Don’t break the damn thing, you silly bitch!” The blonde laughed, squealing as Kaoru’s strong arms wound around his waist and hauled him across the table into a waiting lap._

_“C’mon!” Toshiya called, grabbing Die by the hand and dragging him out of the room._

_They returned in mere moments to present their masterpiece proudly as Die played a Happy Birthday tune, and everyone cheered. The cake was one large rectangle, but was composed of three thin layers stacked on top of one another. The bottom layer was devil’s food for Kaoru, the middle red velvet for Kyo, and the top yellow cake for Shinya. Die and Toshiya had spent a large portion of the day preparing it as a surprise for their three friends, with him assembling the cakes, as well as the whipped cream frosting between each layer, and Toshiya focusing his efforts on decorating the top._

_Thin, steady lines of frosting formed three exaggerated cartoon figures on top of the pastry, a testament to a talent Toshiya rarely used in his line of work. The little cartoon Kaoru, looking so much like a grim reaper, beset upon by a wicked little gremlin Kyo, was skillfully rendered, as was the somewhat over-effeminate Shinya drawn nearby. Photos were taken of the pastry, and it was rapidly disassembled and distributed around the room. Even Akio, sober and silent standing watch at the door, got a slice._

_Shinya cracked a wry grin at the big, girly lips drawn on his cartoon, and shook his head. Kyo complained about Kaoru’s fussy, overly careful eating habits and grabbed a handful of cake, pressing it against his lover’s mouth and smearing the tri-colored confection all over his startled face. Toshiya’s strange, wheezing laugh sounded across the room as Die discovered a glob of frosting on his nose and tried to lick it off._

_Kaoru was thankful for Shinya’s insistence that they celebrate birthdays, even if the two of them and Kyo all had to share a single party for their February birthdays. It was so rare that they could put aside the overwhelming pressures of work and just enjoy themselves and one another as friends. He treasured every smile, every laugh, every playful touch that passed between them, and swore to never forget this glimpse of who they might once have been._

“Poor little hawk,” that hated voice cooed, a large hand coming down to smooth black hair matted with blood away from Kaoru’s face with a sickeningly gentle touch. “You would tell me anything I wanted to know, wouldn’t you? You’d give anything I asked for to make this end. But I don’t want anything from you beyond what you’ve already given me, don’t you understand? I don’t want your secrets or your family’s treasures or your power. Just your pain.”

Kaoru no longer possessed the strength to move, not even to turn his face away from that loathsome touch. What good did it do anyway? He couldn’t hide from his captor, couldn’t escape those cruel hands, no matter what he did. With no voice left to scream, no energy left to fight, no will left to endure, he felt as though there was nothing left within himself besides pain and despair. So he lay inert, prone on the cement floor where he’d been dropped after their last session, and just fought to continue breathing. His nerves were still quivering from the periodic doses of electrical shock he’d endured for the past couple hours, and he wondered distantly if his heart wasn’t going to explode.

A soft, disgustingly cheerful jingle interrupted the heavy silence, and the vile hand went away. Kaoru heard the plastic click of a cheap phone flipping open, and a faint beep.

“Well if it isn’t Daisuke Andou. What a pleasant surprise! How have you been, my old friend?” his captor greeted with false, mocking cheer.

 _‘Die?’_ Kaoru stirred a bit, a painful flutter of hope tugging at his chest.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, he _is_ with me. I must say, I was worried for a while that you would find us before I had my fill of him and ruin my fun yet again. It seems that fear was unfounded.”

_‘Die… my Daisuke… have you found me at last? I knew you would never give up… but… I don’t know if there’s much left for you to save…’_

“How funny, we were just talking about that. I already have everything I want!” That false cheer abruptly gave way to a vicious growl. “You and Nishimura took everything from me. That little bitch bent over for Niikura and suddenly it didn’t matter that he was the enemy! I was the bad guy for doing my job, the job the Niikura’s trained me to do, the only job I know how to do, and _you_ , you traitorous son of a bitch, you threw me in a cell, castrated me, cast me aside like I was trash! Like I hadn’t been part of this family since before your fucking balls even dropped! You took everything from me, so I took everything from you.”

_‘What? His job…? Is that… it can’t be…’_

“A trade?” The horrible voice sounded intrigued. “What a strange proposition. What could you possibly have to offer me that would equal the one man capable of hurting both you and my bloody little sunshine all at once? Although now that I think about it, another shot at him is sorely tempting… you stopped me before I could break him, and Niikura is becoming a touch boring.”

_‘Kyo? No… no, he can’t come here! Don’t let him touch my Kyo, Die, I couldn’t stand it…’_

The long pause in which Die spoke through the phone was agonizing, and Kaoru fought to remain conscious enough to listen to the nearby half of the conversation.

“When you put it that way, it does sound terribly appealing. I have to admit, you know me better than I thought. I’ll need proof of your sincerity before I hand him over, of course.”

_‘What have you promised him, Die? I thought you were too smart to make deals with the devil…’_

“We’ll deal with that when we come to it, hm? I’ll send you an address to meet me at. Bring a knife, and nothing else. If my scanners indicate any other weaponry, I’ll just kill him and be done with it. What do you say; tonight, at seven o‘clock? I want a little more time to play with my toy before I give him away, you know.”

_‘Die… is it true? Are you coming for me?’_

A hearty chuckle made Kaoru flinch. “Alright, five o’clock. Not a moment sooner.”

There was a decisive click, and heavy boots creaked as his captor moved closer and closer, until he could smell the leather mere centimeters from his nose. What time was it now? How long was it until five o’clock? Was this truly happening, was he really going to go home? Or was it a cruel trick of his mind, or of his captor? To make him think freedom was at hand, to restore the hope that had drained from him only to crush it once more?

_‘I don’t think I could stand it… it would be the end of me, for sure.’_

“Well, little hawk, it seems our time is coming to a close tonight. We’ll have to make our last couple hours together _really_ count.”

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

**June 15 th \- 4:30 pm**

 “Why can’t we go in now?” Kyo asked, again.

He sat in the back of the sleek black sedan, hands pressed against the window as he stared at the building across the street. It was almost as if he thought if he stared hard enough, long enough, that maybe he would somehow be able to see through the brick wall. His heart pounded with fright and painful hope; knowing that Kaoru was in that building was a brutal temptation. Knowing that Hideki was in there with him chilled his blood and made his stomach quiver with panic.

“Kyo, I’ve already told you half a dozen times. I know it’s hard, but we have to wait until five. If we’re early, all bets are off,” Die responded from the driver’s seat, his voice heavy with resignation.

He shouldn’t have brought the blonde for this. Three years later, Hideki’s treatment still gave Kyo nightmares from time to time; seeing him in person could only make things worse. But under Kaoru’s command, he and Kyo were equals, so if the younger man demanded to go somewhere or do something, Die had no authority to stop him. And nothing short of pure physical force could have made the blonde stay home.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Die? Surely there’s another way, something else he would want in exchange…? Now that we know where he is, can’t we just take him?” Toshiya murmured gently, one hand on his lover’s arm.

“Aa, I’m sure… He’s already accepted this deal; trying to change the terms now will only set him off, and we’ll lose Kaoru. And now that we’ve made contact, Kao will never leave his sight. We’ll never get a chance to take him before Hideki can… kill him.”

Toshiya winced and chewed at his lip. He felt naked without his weapons, he was worried about Shinya back in the tower under Akio’s watch, he was anxious about the terms of this “deal.” For so long, all he had wanted was a way to get Kaoru home, but now that it was happening, the circumstances were just so painful…

“Please remember your place in all of this, Toshimasa.” Die’s voice was stern, carrying all the force of his authority over Toshiya. “I’m trusting you with that which is most dear to me, do you understand? Kaoru’s safety is the more important than anything else. Just… just keep your mouth shut and when we have Kao, get him home. Once this is done, I don’t want you to ever contact Hideki or seek him out. I will deal with him.”

Toshiya nodded resolutely. “Of course, Die. I won’t let you down.”

Die stared at the long knife that rested across his knees. It was sheathed now, but he knew every millimeter of that curved blade, sharpened today to a perfect smooth edge and mirror-bright surface. He ran loving fingers over the glossy ivory hilt, the sinuous curves of the pouncing tiger as familiar to him as his own hands. So many had fallen to this curious knife, each of them in defense of Kaoru’s name and person. Whatever use it would see today at Hideki’s behest, would be for Kaoru as well.

“It’s time,” The redhead announced, sliding gracefully out of the car.

Die lead the three of them into the abandoned warehouse, Toshiya on his right, Kyo protectively half-hidden behind him on the left. The door they passed through was heavy steel, just as worn down as the rest of the building, but its frame was glossy and new. No doubt concealing the scanners Hideki had mentioned. The building possessed no windows to let in the warm afternoon sun, and so they crossed into a sudden shock of cold and darkness. Under a bare, white light bulb hanging at the end of a long wire, Hideki sat patiently at a low, round table. His hands rested on the tabletop, a pistol under one of them, his face hidden behind the impassable hannya mask, wild features cast in ominous shadows. Behind him, propped up against an eroding brick wall, Kaoru sat deathly still with his head slumped listlessly to one side, bloody lips parted. The three newcomers all watched him with bated breath, relief flooding them as the thin chest slowly – oh so slowly – expanded and contracted.

“Right on time, Andou. Just as I expected,” Hideki’s low voice came from the frozen grin of the mask as the three younger men passed into the circle of the light. “But I didn’t expect to see you, sunshine. Are you trying to change the terms of our deal? I could be tempted…”

Kyo shuddered at the old nickname and looked away.

“No,” Die replied firmly, settling on the other side of the table and setting his knife on the top. “The terms are as stated before.”

At the sound of Die’s voice, Kaoru stirred a bit, head lifting just a shade, lips curling into an almost imperceptible smile and moving in a soundless murmur. _“Die… my Die…”_

Hideki reached up one hand to remove his mask, setting it on the table with a soft click. “Remove your glasses, please.”

It took Die a moment to recover enough composure to oblige. At some point during the past two years, Hideki had acquired horrific acid burns across his face. A sickening web of deep red and purple welts spanned over his cheekbones in a wide horizontal band, the flesh stiff and shiny and horribly pocked. Once Die took off his sunglasses, it was impossible to miss the disgust in his eyes.

“An accident with one of the earlier trials of the toxin I use in my needles,” Hideki explained congenially. “That one was a messy batch; melted people from the inside out over the period of a couple hours. The current version just makes them feel as though that’s what’s happening. It’s really quite lovely.”

The disfigured man clearly relished the shudder he could practically feel running through Kaoru’s body behind him, and the seething hatred that filled Die’s eyes when the redhead saw his boss’s reaction. Kyo bit back a soft, pained sound and moved as if to go to Kaoru, but Toshiya’s strong hand on his shoulder held him back.

“You asked for proof of my sincerity. Name your price,” Die demanded. His fingers itched to crush the man’s thick neck, until that mangled face went deep red and blotchy, tongue lolling out in a desperate attempt for air as the life was choked out of him.

“You owe me an apology, Andou. If you perform yubitsume for me, I will consider our deal sealed.”

Toshiya and Kyo both stiffened with shocked horror, and Kaoru’s head stirred again, thin lips pulled back in a weak snarl. No one but the Head of the Niikura family had the right to demand Die perform such a ritual, particularly not scum like Hideki. Die had never in his life committed an offense worthy of such shame and even if he ever did, the debt would be paid to Kaoru alone.

 _“Don’t you dare, Daisuke…”_ Kaoru tried to say, struggling to make himself heard or even seen. But his voice was gone, and his movements were almost imperceptible.

Under the blindfold, Kaoru couldn’t see the small white cloth that Die pulled out of his suit jacket, couldn’t see large hands set the fabric on the table and smooth out the creases. He couldn’t see his best friend’s left hand press down on the cloth, fingers spread wide, nor the right hand that drew an all-too-familiar knife from its sheath. He couldn’t see the eager gleam in Hideki’s eyes, the resolute determination in Die’s, or the offended horror in Toshiya and Kyo’s.

But he could hear just fine. He could hear Hideki’s breath of anticipation, hear Toshiya’s faint whisper, hear Kyo’s helpless growl. He heard the sickening crunch of flesh and bone as the knife came down on the first knuckle of Die’s pinky finger, severing it completely. The smell of fresh blood hit his nose, and his stomach quivered with rage.

Die kept his breathing slow and steady as he folded the now-bloody cloth around the detached portion of his finger and bowed as he presented it with both hands to the man across from him. There was no hesitation in his movements. He would suffer any pain, any humiliation, any disgrace for Kaoru’s sake. From the corner of his eye, he caught the furious, soundless protest crossing his boss’s lips.

_‘I’m sorry, Kaoru, please forgive me. I don’t want to do this for him, but if it means keeping you safe…’_

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

**June 15 th \- 8:00 pm**

Kyo had always loved the bathroom that connected to his and Kaoru’s bedroom. It was spacious but comfortable, done all in clean white accented with silver, black, and dark purple. The shower stall had an overhead faucet that rained over the occupants, as well as additional heads mounted along the sides to spray horizontally. The sink was large and set into a wide granite counter top, and the toilet was tucked discretely away in its own small area.

But the best part was the tub. It was set into an area of the floor raised up on three stairs, and had room enough for six people to soak comfortably. Small, subtle pumps along the inner walls supplied a constant supply of slow-moving warm water to maintain the temperature without creating any turbulence, and myriad of tiny holes all along the bottom could be switched on to release a torrent of fine bubbles that tickled the skin. There were mirrors mounted on the walls and ceiling around the tub, and candleholders mounted on those so that the candlelight would be reflected all around the small area. He and Kaoru had spent many blissful evenings making waves in that tub, steaming up those mirrors.

Tonight though, Kyo only cared that the room was clean, dark, and private. It had taken far too long to get Kaoru home from where they’d met Hideki across town, and just getting him onto the elevator and up to the top floor without being seen had been a challenge. Though honestly, it was hard to say whether anyone in the tower would even have recognized their leader in this state. Bundled in Toshiya’s arms, wrapped in a thin grey blanket from the trunk of the car, he was thin, his hair a snarled mess around his face, and still wearing his blindfold. They had tried to take the cloth off in the car on the way home, but after two weeks wearing it, the afternoon sunlight in his sensitive eyes had only made Kaoru release another of those horrible silent screams. The older man also seemed to be swimming in and out of consciousness, moving so little and so rarely that it was difficult to tell when he was awake.

Now that Kaoru was settled in the shower stall, apparently asleep again, Kyo shut and locked the door and turned off all of the lights. Shinya was busy comforting Toshiya in the living area of the master suite, the strain of Kaoru’s suffering and Die’s sacrifice too much for the sensitive man, but Kyo couldn’t be bothered with them. He gathered up the first aid kit and piled up soft towels and pajamas outside the shower. Swallowing past a thick lump in his throat, he knelt inside the stall with his lover and reached up gently to take the blindfold away, his heart constricting painfully when the older man shrank away from his touch. Kaoru – strong, proud, confident Kaoru – had never so much as flinched in all the time Kyo had known him.

“It’s just… you’re safe now, we’re at home,” he whispered.

 _“…Kyo?”_ The breath was just barely audible in the quiet of the bathroom.

“Yeah, it’s me. I’m… I’m going to take this off so we can clean you up, okay?”

Kaoru shied away, turning his face against the wall. _“It’s too bright…”_

“It’s okay; I turned off all the lights.”

After a moment of hesitation, long fingers came up to untie the black cloth for the second time that day. The fabric was stiff with countless dried tears, and Kyo threw it away from them spitefully. Despite the reassurances, Kaoru’s eyes remained closed and he seemed to struggle to convince himself to open them. Kyo chewed his lip, wanting so badly to be patient and understanding, wanting even worse to see Kaoru’s eyes and confirm that his lover was home, safe and alive.

_“No lights?”_

“None,” Kyo promised.

Slowly, hesitantly, dark eyes squinted open, pupils flared impossibly wide and rolling side to side to take in their surroundings. With obvious effort, Kaoru raised his left hand curiously, the right with its broken digits clutched protectively to his chest. His fingers brushed over the clean tile floor beneath him, the glass wall he was leaning against, the grey blanket that was wrapped around him. Finally, slow and shaking with ill-concealed hope and the fear of letdown that comes with it, he reached out to touch Kyo’s face.

Kyo couldn’t help himself. The moment that hand touched his cheek, a soft sob escaped him, and he held it in place with his own fingers and nuzzled against it. “Kaoru…”

 _“I’m… home?”_ the older man wondered. _“It’s not a dream?”_

Kyo let out a wavering laugh, thin tears sliding down his cheeks to collect against Kaoru’s hand. “You’re home. You’re home and you’re safe.”

_“Are you…? Don’t cry, love… it’ll be okay…”_

The blonde laughed again, closing his eyes. The Kaoru he knew and loved had to be in there somewhere, if he was filthy, bloody, and broken, and still found it in himself worry about Kyo crying. A large part of him – of both of them, of all of them – had worried that after so long in that place, Kaoru’s mind would have been broken. That, if and when they reclaimed the older man’s body alive, it would be an empty shell, the soul inside having fled to escape a constant barrage of pain and humiliation. Kyo should have known better, should have had more faith in his lover’s legendary stubborn streak.

“Sorry, Kao. I’ll try not to. I’m going… I’m going to wash you up now, okay?”

_“I’m so tired…”_

“I know, but as soon as you’re clean we can go to sleep, okay? I know how much you hate going to bed dirty.”

Kyo stripped down to his boxers and unwrapped the grey blanket from Kaoru’s shoulders before turning the water on around them. He was thankful now for the darkness, shadows sparing him the pain of seeing the full extent of his lover’s injuries without the layers of dirt and dried blood to obscure them. Just feeling the rough edges of shallow cuts, the heat of deep bruises and sprains, and the smooth raised lines of welts under his fingertips was almost too much.

The water ran black for a long time, and Kyo worked tirelessly with the gentlest touch to clean every inch of the older man’s too-thin body. He bit his lip every time his lover winced, hating the fact that he was causing Kaoru more pain but unable to avoid it. When he was finally finished with the older man’s skin, he came across a new issue.

“Kaoru… Kao, your hair, I’m not sure if I can… it’s pretty tangled up. We might have to…”

Kaoru’s eyes lowered a bit, looking subdued, and Kyo’s heart ached for him. His lover was, at the very heart of himself, a terribly vain man and he took exceptional pride in his hair. Not since he was very young had he worn it short; for as long as he could remember it had been chin length or longer. To lose that, on top of everything else… Kyo’s eyes narrowed with determination and he moved to collect a bottle of detangler and a comb.

“We might have to stay up real late to get it sorted out,” the blonde decided.

_“…What? Kyo, you don’t have to-”_

Under the spray of the shower, Kyo could no longer hear Kaoru’s empty, breathy voice. “I’ll be careful so you can try to get some sleep, okay? Don’t worry about a thing… I’ll take care of you.”

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

**June 18 th \- 7:00 am**

Kaoru sat with his back propped against a pile of pillows, a light blanket drawn up over his hips, and wondered – not for the first time – if he weren’t dreaming. Was he truly back in his own bed, in his own room nestled at the top of his family’s tower? After what felt like an eternity in pitch blackness and endless pain, it seemed too good to be true. Too easily won, and so too susceptible to being taken away. He shifted a little, and let the numerous aches and throbbing pains still plaguing his body convince him that he was indeed awake. Dark chocolate eyes lowered to examine his own battered frame critically.

The broken fingers on his right hand were trapped in cushioned aluminum splints, the bones painstakingly set back into place to heal. His hair was clean and straight again, but a few centimeters shorter than it had been. His arms, his chest, his belly were all wrapped in thin white bandages, and the faint smell of bruise cream and antiseptic surrounded him. Under the blanket, he knew that his legs were similarly wrapped up. The bandages were curious things; clumsily applied by unskilled hands to cover even parts of him without cuts or abrasions. Wrapped too thin in some places, too loose in others, with an uneven spiral and secured with way too much tape, the sight of them still made his chest flutter warmly.

Kaoru had been well tended to for the past three days, and he looked down at his personal “nursemaid” fondly. Kyo was curled up at his side, dead asleep with his cheek resting on Kaoru’s thigh, oblivious to the older man’s hand stroking through his hair. The little blonde had no training or experience administering first aid, but Kaoru had steadfastly refused to let Dr. Bao seem him in this state. He was also uncomfortable with Shinya seeing him naked, and the younger man had only been allowed to set and splint Kaoru’s broken fingers. So on top of the phenomenal amount of work required to keep the family business running smoothly, Kyo had taken on the task of tending to his lover.

Every day, he unwrapped the cloths, helped Kaoru through the shower, applied wound creams to every last bruise, cut, welt, and burn, then rewrapped him again in fresh bandages. He changed the sheets on their bed, helped Kaoru to dress in comfortable pajamas, brought him small, simple meals every couple hours, kept him entertained in the few hours that he spent awake, even switched out all of the light bulbs in the bedroom and bathroom with darker ones. Normal levels of light still hurt his eyes, but he’d woken once to a pitch black bedroom and had suffered such a violent panic attack – thinking that he was still blindfolded in that cement room – that they’d taken to keeping at least one lamp on at all times.

But for all of his lover’s devotion, attention, and care, Kaoru could feel some part of himself refusing to recover. His wounds were healing, he was already slowly regaining some of the weight he’d lost, and he knew in his head that he was safe in his home, but still he felt as if it would all be torn away any moment. Hideki was still out there somewhere, seething and bitter and sadistic, and Die was with him. Not here where he was supposed to be, where Kaoru needed him to be, and as selfish as Kaoru knew he was being, he couldn’t help but resent his friend’s absence. He knew he would still be in Hideki’s clutches if Die hadn’t traded places with him, sacrificed himself for him, but he didn’t care. He wanted the redhead back at his side, standing watch over him, protecting him and all he loved like he always had, and he was sure he would never feel safe or secure again until that happened.

He hadn’t realized he was crying until he saw a tear drip off the tip of his nose to land on Kyo’s forehead. With an odd, disconnected fascination, he watched the shimmering drop splash against smooth, gold skin. A small, round nose scrunched up, delicate eyebrows lowering as a tattooed hand came up languidly to rub at the ticklish irritation. Dark gold eyes fluttered open with a confused murmur and focused eventually on Kaoru’s face hovering over them.

“Kao?” Kyo slurred around a wide yawn. “Wha’s wrong? D’you need more pain killers?”

 “No.” Kaoru shook his head, wincing at his own raspy voice.

“Bad dreams?” the blonde ventured, waking up a bit more.

“No…”

Kyo eyed him curiously, then sighed and sat up. “You miss Die.”

Kaoru nodded, closing his eyes. “Do you think I’m selfish? You’ve been taking such good care of me, but still… still, I need him.”

“Of course you’re selfish; you have every right to be. You’re Kaoru _fucking_ Niikura. You can have and do whatever you want, and the only thing anybody else needs to worry about is getting it for you in a timely manner.” From anyone else, the words he’d once spoken being handed back to him would have sounded bitter. From Kyo, it was simply a reminder of the power and confidence Kaoru had once held himself with, issued in gentle but firm tones.

“I don’t feel that way now. I just feel… scared.” The admission was hard to make, and the words felt unfamiliar on Kaoru’s tongue.

“I know. And I know you don’t need him for the same reasons you need me. I would be surprised if you didn’t miss him; Die makes the people around him feel safe and _that’s_ what you need right now. Whatever feelings you might have for me, I’m no bodyguard.”

His lover knew him too well, sometimes. Kaoru sighed and reached out to tug Kyo back into his lap, this time with the younger man settled between his legs with his back against his chest. The new position hurt in a lot of places, but Kaoru savored every ache, sting, and throb as a reminder that he wasn’t dreaming, he was home. He held the smaller blonde as close to himself as his weak body would allow. They sat that way for a long time, soaking up the contact they’d been denied for the past couple weeks, relishing their togetherness all the more for the time they‘d spent without it. The music that was always playing in their room – turned down to an almost inaudible volume – was all that stirred the air, unobtrusive as it was.

“I love you, Kyo,” Kaoru murmured against soft blonde hair.

He could count on one hand the number of times he’d said those words to his little lover; it was typically something that was understood between them without unnecessary noise. Right now, though… right now, he needed to remind himself of what he had, not what he was missing, or how close he’d come to losing everything.

“I love you too, Kaoru.”

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

**June 18 th \- 6:00 pm**

Kaoru was beginning to regret insisting on this meeting. It wasn’t the strain of work; that had been what he wanted. After so long away from home, he was worried about his beloved organization and wanted to know how it fared, and catching up was a welcome distraction from his own dark thoughts. The glow of Kyo’s treasured laptop and the familiar weight of thick file folders were cherished comforts. And he was cozy enough in the living area of the master suite, folded into the corner of his favorite couch in loose sweatpants and a tee-shirt.

It wasn’t the extra company that he minded either. He considered Shinya and Toshiya to be close friends, and what he’d heard of their actions in his absence only further endeared them to him. He knew that Shinya had been invaluable in helping Kyo keep the business running smoothly, as well as keeping his volatile little lover sane. He could even appreciate Toshiya’s contributions to caring for Die‘s anxiety, though his methods were somewhat questionable. For all of the shaky beginnings between them, they were trustworthy allies, and that was a rare asset in his life.

It was the sympathy in their eyes that made him sick and angry, knowing that they had seen everything that had been done to him. For every wince or faint grunt he made when an over-ambitious movement aggravated his injuries, they would flinch along with him. They spoke to him gently, as if speaking too loud would scare him away, and barely touched him, as if the slightest contact would break him. He could tolerate a certain amount of coddling from Kyo – his little lover’s gentler nature was not new to him, and he knew he’d not lost the blonde’s respect – but this cosseting was driving him to madness. He didn’t want to be reminded of his weakness and his fears, he wanted to regain the power and confidence that he’d always carried himself with. He wanted to be strong again.

“-had some minor issues last week an import broker trying to change his prices at the last minute,” Shinya was saying. “You’ll probably still want to meet with him, but for the time being we’ve ‘convinced’ him to stick to the original contract.”

“Aa,” Kaoru murmured apathetically.

“I think we should reschedule the rest of your meetings for this month,” Kyo said with a frown, pulling up Kaoru’s schedule on his computer. “Push them out to August, maybe? July isn’t too busy, luckily, so-”

“Wait,” Toshiya cut in, holding up one hand. “Did anyone else hear that?”

“Hear what?” Shinya asked.

“Hang on.”

The taller man was on his feet and moving silently out of the room into the hallway before anyone could get any more information out of him. Kyo and Shinya exchanged worried looks, and Kaoru scowled at the door curiously. There was a long stretch of edgy silence, minutes stretching by with tension mounting steeply, before there was a soft thump against the door. Another pause, and the door was opened to a shocking scene.

Toshiya held the door open, face pulled tight with frantic worry, a bloody handprint on his chest where the man with him had clearly pushed him away. Die pushed past wearily, panting and dragging bare feet with strained effort. The redhead wore only his trousers, the blue wool soaked with blood and caked with dirt, his feet leaving dark red prints on the carpet behind him. One of his eyes was swollen shut, and his chest was a sickening mess of deep cuts and cracked scabs; it was almost unrecognizable, but the Niikura family crest had been carved into the flesh. His left hand was clumsily wrapped in a dirty cloth and clutched protectively against his belly, the right had a white-knuckle grip on a cloth sack turned brown/black with old blood.

Kyo, Shinya, and Toshiya seemed to fade from the room as Kaoru stood. His friend was equally focused on him, long legs forced back into motion to carry a beaten, exhausted body across the room until Die stood in front of his boss, hunched enough that they were almost eye-to-eye. With a sigh that was equal parts relief and pain, the redhead sank to his knees in front of Kaoru, head bowed as his blood-soaked bag was offered up with two shaking hands.

Kaoru accepted the bag and set it on the table, pulling loose the string holding it shut and letting it fall open around its gruesome contents. He ran cold eyes over a familiar knife with a stained tiger hilt, and a severed head still affixed with a dark red hannya mask. A light touch knocked the mask off, revealing a horribly disfigured face frozen into a look of agony and shock. At the very edges of his attention, Kaoru could hear someone else in the room gagging, but he ignored it.

When he looked back down at his friend, he found another offering being held up to him, this one a small, folded square of fabric. He accepted the small package, and unfolded it carefully to find a small, flawless bone. This gift, even more than the head of his tormentor, made him shiver and he closed his hand around it tightly, looking down at his friend.

“Daisuke…”

“It’s rightfully yours,” Die panted, struggling to keep his worn-out voice level. “I had to perform the ceremony for him, but it’s my penance to you, for failing to keep you safe. Forgive me for taking so long to get it back to you.”

Kaoru stared down at his friend, his face unreadable. “…and if I demand the ceremony?”

There was a soft, shocked clamor of gasps and murmurs from the other men in the room, but Die’s hand reached out without hesitation to close around the hilt of his knife, one dark brown eyes raising to meet Kaoru’s with unwavering resolve. “I’ll need another cloth.”

Kaoru closed his eyes and smiled. “Get up, Die.”

The redhead dropped the knife and stood with some effort, his mouth pulled into a tired half-grin as his best friend’s arms wrapped securely around him. He rested his head on a familiar, bony shoulder and returned the embrace weakly. “I was kind of hoping you wouldn’t make me take off another knuckle, but I’ll do it if you really want.”

“I know you will,” Kaoru murmured.

 _This_ was what he needed. His Die, who would always protect and serve him, who never pitied him, who would do anything for him, even if he bitched about it later. Die was his bloody right hand and his bodyguard; his sword and his shield. This powerful, determined creature was loyal to him, his and his alone to command not because he was obligated to obey, but because he honestly loved and respected Kaoru with every fiber of his being.

“This is getting a little gay,” Die teased gently and Kaoru chuckled, releasing his friend reluctantly.

“My apologies.”

“There’s something I need to do before I pass out, is that okay?” the redhead asked tiredly.

Kaoru bit back a grin. “Of course.”

Die nodded and turned around, reaching out one long arm to catch Toshiya by the front of his jacket. He pulled the anxious-looking young man to himself, his bandaged hand reaching out to rest on a narrow hip, and kissed him deeply. Toshiya melted into the older man with a faint whimper, hands coming up to tangle in crimson hair with a painful grip.

“Kyo, would you call Akio up here for me?” Kaoru called, eyeing the decapitated head on his coffee table. “I would like this skull cleaned.”

Kyo stared at his lover for a moment, mouth slightly agape. The authoritative strength that had been missing from the older man’s voice since he’d returned was creeping back. The wearied hunch had straightened a bit, and a little glimmer of confidence shone in predatory eyes. So many changes, so subtle and almost imperceptible on their own, took over the older man all of a sudden. Kyo could see just a glimpse of the Kaoru he’d known and loved for three years beginning to return, and it made his heart flutter.

Kaoru eyed him, curious about the younger man’s silence. “Now, please.”

Kyo’s mouth snapped shut and he fumbled for his phone. “Of course. What… what do you want to do with it?”

The older man ran a thoughtful finger over the grinning cheeks of the red hannya mask. “I want to put it in a display case. In my office.”

“Are you sure this is something you want to remember every day, Kaoru?” Shinya asked, gently.

“Yes.” Not for the pain or the humiliation, but for the fact that when he thought he’d lost everything, when he needed help more than he ever had in his life, these men had still been there for him.

“Ah! Die!” Toshiya cried, calling their attention to the other side of the room.

Die had, true to his word, passed out shortly after his reunion with Toshiya. The younger man was supporting the redhead’s weight, sinking to his knees to rest the heavier body on the floor. In that moment, fussing over his unconscious lover with a worried stare and painstakingly gentle hands, Toshiya’s affection could not have been more blatant.

“…and call down to Medical, tell them to prepare for an incoming patient. Top priority,” Kaoru added, to Kyo.

Shinya sighed and flashed Kaoru a wry smile. “I think we may have to increase the frequency of our visits, my friend. I don’t think I can handle the sulking that is sure to come if we try to keep those two separated for a month at a time.”

“I believe you might be right, Shinya.”

 

 


	19. Epilogue

**November 3 rd \- 1:00 am**

Die lay reclining on his side, head propped up on one hand, the other resting delicately on his hip with a gently-smoking cigarette loosely balanced between two fingers. He was completely bare and under other circumstances, his lover’s intense stare at his nude body would have been cause for excitement, but tonight, his passions had already been spent. Besides, Toshiya was only looking at him so closely for seconds at a time every couple of minutes. An all-too familiar sketchpad was balanced on his lover’s knees, and the soft skritch of graphite on paper was a steady static interruption of the comfortable quiet between them.

Die took a long, languid drag off the cigarette and tilted his head a bit to blow smoke rings at his ceiling. “Don’t you ever get tired of drawing me?”

“Nope.”

“Mm. Why’s this one taking so long?”

Die had learned that for the past three and a half years that they’d known each other, Toshiya had been building a collection of sketches of him. The man had two sketchbooks full of little glimpses of just him, more than a few of them pornographic in nature even from before they had gotten together. Now that Toshiya actually got to see Die nude on a fairly regular basis, the sketches had become much more accurate, and it seemed he could never get enough of drawing his lover.

“Your chest. I want to make sure I have the scars right.”

Die ran his fingers thoughtfully over the dark pink lines on his chest, still sensitive even five months later. The Niikura family crest had been carved deep into his flesh, and the wounds had gone too long without being cleaned, so he would always bare the image on his chest. He didn’t mind all that much, anymore than he minded his too-short left pinky finger. Both had been earned in service to Kaoru, and he wore them with pride.

Toshiya hummed around his own cigarette, flashing a grin. “You’re fucking _gorgeous_ , you know that?”

Die’s returning smile was a bit lopsided, and he blushed a bit. He never could get used to Toshiya’s frequent exclamations of his beauty. “You’ve told me a few times. You should be careful I don’t get a big head.”

“Nah.” The younger man set the pad aside and stood from his chair, crossing the room to flop down next to his lover and plant a light kiss on elegant lips. “You’re too modest, gods know why. It’s probably for the best, though; if I was that good-looking, I’d never look away from the mirror.”

Die pressed his burning face into Toshiya’s shoulder, chuckling indulgently. “You’re such a dork sometimes.”

“It’s part of why you love me so much!”

The redhead kissed the smooth flesh in front of him, eyes flicking up with ill-concealed sincerity. “Aa, it is…”

It was Toshiya’s turn to blush, and he wrinkled his nose a bit at the older man. Their relationship was still in its infancy, particularly since they only got to see each other on the weekends. Everything between them was still new and exciting and though both tried to be relatively calm about it, they occasionally were awed by the intensity of what bloomed between them. Two nights and two days a week together was not nearly enough, but still more than they had ever hoped for.

For Shinya and Kaoru to consent to meeting even that often had been a shock for them, particularly since the long commute meant that whoever had made the trip to the other’s house had to stay overnight Friday and Saturday. Shinya and Toshiya usually went to the Niikura tower, where there were large, comfortable quarters set up just for Shinya, but Kyo and Kaoru would occasionally travel with Die and take up one of the guest rooms in the Terachi mansion. The constant trips were a pain, and there were some weekends where both parties were simply too busy to make it, but Die and Toshiya cherished every moment they got together.

“I saw a new picture in the living room,” Toshiya remembered, rolling to lie on top of Die’s chest with a yawn. “Of Kaoru and Kyo in a club eating a cherry. Who took that? It’s really cute!”

Die laughed softly, wrapping his arms around the younger man’s narrow waist. “One of Ran Tetsuya’s spies, if you’d believe it. His Second brought it into a tributary meeting with his other files back when Kao was missing and used it to convince Tetsuya that Kyo was a concubine.”

“Pbft!” Toshiya sputtered, dissolving into the wheezing, squeaking laugh the way he always did when he thought something was really funny. “ _What?!_ ”

“You remember, Kyo had to go in Kaoru’s place? Tetsuya said he wasn’t interested in whores in suits, and Kyo ripped him a new asshole. He was back last week and Kaoru just _ripped_ into him for being disrespectful to his ‘advisor’ and then demanded all records of the photo.”

Toshiya couldn’t stop himself laughing, and Die grinned as well. He loved Toshiya’s laugh, odd though it was. The younger man’s whole face turned up whenever he laughed, his eyes forming perfect little crescents and his entire body shook with the force of it. Really, Die found the full spectrum of his lover’s emotions fascinating; so fleeting and yet so passionate. Toshiya was not afraid to laugh or cry or scoff in front of god and everybody if that was what he felt like doing, and Die had to admire that kind of genuineness.

Because Toshiya did tend to be so emotional, people often underestimated him in his capacity as the Terachi bodyguard, just as they underestimated Shinya because of his youthful, effeminate features. So few people ever realized the intelligence hidden behind Toshiya’s black eyes or the strength in his willowy limbs, and when they felt the cruel sting of Shinya’s ruthless cunning, it was far too late. Die remembered, at times, that Kyo had been a member of that incongruous family as well, his wicked grin and wild appearance masking a highly capable, organized mind.

“Totchi?”

“Yes, gorgeous?”

“What do you think you’d be doing, if you weren’t with Shinya?”

“Still you, ideally.”

Die rolled his eyes. “Don’t be an ass.”

Toshiya winked. “I would be famous, I think. Maybe a model or something? I’m pretty good-looking, you know.”

“Yes, I know.”

“Or maybe in a band! I don’t know. Why do you ask?”

“Just curious… it’s just funny how things turn out sometimes, you know? If any one little thing had been different… If Kyo’s father hadn’t gone to jail, and he hadn’t been adopted by the Terachis. If your cousin never had you run that package to Kunio, and he hadn’t picked you to be Shin’s bodyguard. If Tomohiro’s wife hadn’t been infertile, and Kaoru hadn’t been picked as heir. One little change, and none of this would have happened, you know? Kaoru and Kyo wouldn’t be together, and neither would you and I.”

“What would you be doing?”

Die chuckled. “Kaoru once said that we would be famous soccer players or rock stars.”

Toshiya’s head came up with bright eyes and a cheeky grin. “Can you imagine if we were _all_ rock stars? Like, in a band together?”

Die stared into his lover’s eyes for a long moment, then scoffed, “It’s a bit farfetched, don’t you think?”

Toshiya pouted and laid his head back down on Die’s chest, yawning widely as the older man’s long arm stretched out to flick off the light. It _was_ hard to imagine them living any life other than their own. Could Kaoru and Die ever have been the goofy, laughing boys shown in the older photos, before life had turned them serious? Could Kyo ever have been the wicked, sensual banshee he was when he took to the stage on karaoke night, when work didn’t force him to be organized? Could Shinya ever have been the gentle, supportive friend that could only come out in private, when it didn’t interfere with business? Toshiya found himself drifting off quickly, lulled by his own silly fantasy and Die’s steady heartbeat.

“Besides, what would Shinya play? Tambourine?”

“PBFT!!!”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Horray for fairy tale endings! To be perfectly honest, I have no idea where any of the ideas for this came from. Most of my fics stem from persistent mental images or impressions, but this one was all kind of spur of the moment as I went, so I don't feel quite as attached to it as I do the others. Not that I dislike it at all, it just doesn't really register with any sort of familiarity when I read over it. Regardless, I'm glad you stuck around to read this far, and I hope you enjoyed yourself!


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